I finally got around to reading one of my Real Simple magazines that have been piling up. It was the September 2022 issue. I got halfway through and then it ended up under my instructions for a scarf I’m knitting. I decided to finish it because nothing gets thrown out until I’ve at least glanced through it. And that’s when I found this article…. How to Be Less Busy by Catherine Hong stopped me dead in my tracks.
She started out talking about The Phantom Tollbooth’s Terrible Trivium, who was a “demon of petty tasks and worthless jobs, ogre of wasted effort, and monster of habit”. “if you only do the easy and useless jobs, you’ll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult”.
Wow, that is me! When I’m at the office, I always gravitate to the routine, the easy, the things I can do with my eyes closed. “Must get these done FIRST before I can move on to what I REALLY want to do”, I say to myself. “All of this is much more important than those out-of-the-ordinary projects on my list!”
When I’m at home, I’m always tidying up, always organizing (not cleaning!). On weekends I think I have to get everything done before I relax but when I do relax I pop up like a jack in the box because it feels wrong to sit and relax.
Well, what’s the answer? She has eight suggestions. The first is: “examine the root of your devotion to productivity”.
From the article: “Was your relationship with your parents transactional with their love, attention, or rewards doled out based on your performance rather than your inherent worth? Deep down do you think breaks are for wimps and whiners who aren’t as tough as you? Do you think you haven’t earned the right to take a break? Life experience, culture, and families can instill the desire to overachieve. If we understand where the “toxic productivity” comes from, and create a new story for ourselves where we deserve love and rest, it can help us carve out time for ourselves, unapologetically.”
That is A LOT to unpack! I feel some truth to the transactional relationship, not because they were cold or unfeeling parents, but because I was one of three girls all aged within 18 months of each other. There was the older sister, middle sister, and younger sister. Perhaps our best performances did receive the rewards. I was told by my mother when she came through in a medium reading that “You were always like that”. “That” would be my need to keep everyone and everything under control.
The second suggestion is: “Accept that your to-do list will never be done”. THIS IS ME! My to-do list comes and goes but that In Box? I will get a burst of energy at 4:15pm on Friday afternoon and I am just absolutely determined to clear my inbox before I can walk out that door! I get this ridiculous pit in my stomach while I’m trying to get the work done and out. Block out some time for to-dos and some time for leisure. For my office problem, I think it would be to block out time for to-dos and time for those “special projects” I want to get to but am “too busy” to do!
I’m going to work on those two suggestions but will come back and share some of the remaining suggestions.
Thoughts From The Passenger Seat 