Memories – Thoughts From The Passenger Seat

2026, Memories

A look Back at 36

Posted on July 18, 2026 by nancyb422

Yesterday was my son’s 36th birthday. It feels so momentous to have a child that old. Of course it makes me think back to what I was doing when I was 36.

I was raising a 6 year old who had just finished up kindergarten. I was working a job I hated, at a company I loved. We had passed the one year anniversary of our move from California back to purchase my childhood home in Connecticut. My father lived with us for five years after that. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer that April and in the next month, my husband would travel back to California to visit her one last time.

My son was loving life in 1996, oblivious, I hope, to the turmoil around him. He was spending days at the YMCA camp along with after camp care until one of us picked him up. He spent some Fridays with a friend’s family at a favorite Rhode Island beach. Most weekends were spent at my sister’s in-law’s pool with the rest of his cousins by marriage.

It was a time of trying to make everyone happy. Appease everyone. Get to work, don’t fuck up, don’t get sick because then someone had to do my job. Make sure no one felt slighted or offended by any choices I made. I didn’t have that living in California, but I had it in aces here.

It did smooth out and get better. I left that job and found another closer to home with better hours, and better pay. I adjusted to life in the family fold while creating my own life with my own family.

That’s a look at my summer at 36.

*My wildflower garden outside my back door*

2026, Memories

Love Letters

Posted on July 12, 2026 by nancyb422

My husband and I wrote letters to each other from May until September in 1987. We met in early May, went home to our separate coasts, visited twice, and I moved to California five months after we left.

I don’t think I’ve ever re-read the letters, just carried them around from house to house, and took them on another cross country move.

I read them all again the other day. Wow. Talk about some in-depth thoughts and dreams. Mine, of course. His letters were sometimes a half of a page. But they talked of our visits, and our day to day lives.

I look at my husband now and I fall in love with him all over again.

2026, Memories

Wedding Day #38

Posted on May 6, 2026May 6, 2026 by nancyb422

Today is my wedding anniversary.

When I walked outside this morning I heard some chirping and looked out to see a mama cardinal.

Of course I took a picture of it!

I always think of the male and female cardinals as my parents because they say the male cardinal represents your father, so it’s only right that the female represents your mother.

I was surprised to see her so early in the morning, but it felt meant to be that she would say hello on this day because she set us up from heaven!

She died 4 weeks before I met my husband. I had rescheduled my vacation and he was not scheduled to go on his vacation but joined his friends at the last minute. In 2013 when I met with a medium for the first time, my mother told him she set us up. I have to believe her!

2026, Memories

Not My Fault?

Posted on April 19, 2026 by nancyb422

I have written twice about my inability to “do math”. Here and more recently, here. It all started, I thought, in third grade with long division. But I learned something today that might have derailed me earlier than that.

During his sermon, the deacon at church used his 1960s self getting a correct answer to a math problem and his teacher saying, “You got it! You Understand!”, as an example of disciples and townspeople believing Jesus’ resurrection. He appears before two followers on their way to Emmaus. They notify the eleven apostles, who tell the two men that Jesus appeared to Peter. While this is happening, Jesus appears again. The two men got it, they understood now what was happening. Not unlike Deacon Etzerheld’s new found understanding of “New Math”.

What was New Math and did everyone have trouble? New Math is described as “a dramatic but temporary change in the way mathematics was taught in grade schools which started in France and stress to many other countries between 1950s and 1970s. What happened to if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?

I was probably too young to have experienced the effects of new math, but what about my teacher? Or was third grade math still simple enough to teach, and for most of her students, easy enough to learn that it didn’t create issues.

I thought I was on to something until I realized New Math was likely on its way out the door by the time I arrived for the hard stuff. Long Division.

*Me on the left, my twin on the right. About the age I started suffering with math.*

2026, Memories

Easter Week

Posted on March 29, 2026March 29, 2026 by nancyb422

Yesterday I wrote about the week of anniversaries for this new week.

Today is Palm Sunday and it begins the Holy Week leading to Easter. So although the anniversaries of my parents’ deaths don’t line up exactly, the memories of those holidays that year are still there.

The day my dad died in 2010, it was Palm Sunday. Palm fronds were in his room when we went there to sit with him until the funeral home arrive to pick him up. His funeral was on Holy Thursday and our funeral director hustled to secure a time, other wise we’d have had to wait until after Easter.

In her eulogy, my sister recounted a vision of my father entering heaven, like Jesus entered Jerusalem, with people shouting their love for him, so happy to see him.

That Easter Sunday, on the 23rd anniversary of my mother’s death, we gathered as we always do at my sister’s house to stuff ourselves full of kielbasa, babka, hardboiled eggs, and candy. That

So as I remember my dad today on Palm Sunday, I know we will all think of both of them on Easter Sunday as this week ties their holidays and their lives and deaths together.

2026, Memories

The Week of Anniversaries

Posted on March 28, 2026March 28, 2026 by nancyb422

My mother died on April 4, 1987 from brain cancer. It was an eight week blur from the hospital for tests on Day 1 to her death at home.

22 years, 11 months and 24 days later, a total of 8,394 days, my father died on March 28, 2010 of a heart attack.

In the years in between, he retired, played a lot of golf, had a small picture framing business in the basement, and got to meet and enjoy his five grandchildren.

But in the last 12 years of his life, he slowly declined. A knee replacement slowed him down, triple bypass, peripheral arterial disease took his left leg, but he kept moving along in his scooter at his assisted living facility. Until a heart attack, “an angel’s kiss”, sent him on his way to heaven.

My theory is, my mother was waiting for him all these years, but he didn’t want to leave his girls. He lost his mother when he was three, and his father just before his 11th birthday. Even though we were in our early 50s, I think he just didn’t want to leave. Finally she said, “it’s time, they’re all fine”.

Every year, this week brings up the memories of how much we loved them and miss them.

*Betty and John – Rocky Neck Beach – early 1950s*

2026, life, Memories

Comparison

Posted on February 17, 2026February 17, 2026 by nancyb422

“Comparison is the thief of Joy” is often attributed to Teddy Roosevelt, but it dates back much farther than the end of the 1800s. There are references to it in the bible telling us that “to compare oneself to others, steals joy and leads to sin.” Ok, a little deeper than I intended to go.

Comparison… how can you NOT compare yourself to everyone around you when you have spent your life being compared to someone else?

It starts early as a twin. Weigh a little more? Measure a little longer? Eat more, drink more, poop more. Getting the picture yet?

Move on to school. Who’s smarter? Better at math, better at reading, drawing, nothing changes. But wait ’til high school!

High School….who’s prettier? friendlier? who’s dating whom? She didn’t say hi – you must be the friendly one! Oh, wait, you’re the one that didn’t say hi to me last week, I guess you’re both bitches! And cheerleaders! How did you both make it at the same time? That’s not fair! You must know someone! Oh, you’re the better cheerleader! Wait, maybe she’s the better cheerleader, I forgot who is who!

The comparisons ended at the end of high school for the most part, but the damage was done. The damage was done years ago. The damage was done as soon as we went to school. How could it not? People, adults and children alike, are all human. People don’t think of the words that hit like pebbles every time a comparison is made.

When we were in 8th grade or so, poring over our cousin’s high school yearbook. There was a set of twins graduating that year. Pretty girls with long, blonde hair. One was so pretty, and the other was pretty, but just not quite as pretty. As if the picture was fuzzy. That’s how I felt right up until we graduated.

Comparison of everything under the sun subsided long ago and all that’s left is how I feel about my body. I glance at other woman to wonder if they are as short as me? Where do they find pants to fit? Are they forever unhappy with the shape of their body?

Why do I care? I’m strong and fit.

“Comparison IS the thief of Joy”

2026, life, Memories

Love Is Blind – The Show

Posted on February 7, 2026February 7, 2026 by nancyb422

I saw on Netflix that Season 11 of Love Is Blind will be starting soon. I’m not big on manufactured drama like The Bachelor and Bachelorette, but I’ve been searching for a binge show and with 11 seasons, I might be able to make it through 5 and call it good.

This is the show where there are a bunch, 10 or 12 each, of men and women. Women in one side, men the other, and they enter pods and talk without seeing each other. Once a couple decides this is it, he proposes, they meet, they’ll go on a trip, meet family and friends, and then get married. Maybe. I’m curious to see how many get to the alter.

Last night was my first episode. There’s a man by the name of Barnett and I had his number the minute he opened his mouth. Mind you, I’m coming from a 65 year old perspective but it took my mother’s death and a rescheduled trip to Jamaica to find the man of my dreams, so I’ve seen many types of men.

Back to Barnett (I keep thinking Bennett), quick with a joke, that way of saying something, making you think it’s true, and then giving it a “nah, I’m just kidding.” The guy incapable of making a decision, has 3 girls on a hook right now but with a different relationship with each. Remember, they are in pods so are talking and don’t know what the other looks like. But the women and men talk to each other about the people they are connecting with so that can get a little dicey.

One woman, Jessica, is convinced they are a match made in heaven. LC and Barnett are “exactly alike” he says. To that I say “RUN”, you’ll never make it. The third, Amber, who I thought was a little annoying, is the one he has had the deepest conversations with.

Jessica also made a connection with Mark who is 10 years younger than her. She is 34, he is 24. But would he be there if he wasn’t mature and grounded? He’s more grounded than Barnett. Well, Jessica, casts aside Mark because she is convinced she’s going to be Mrs. Barnett. Don’t you know, Barnett turns around and says, “mmm yeah, I don’t know, I’m feeling a connection with others.”

Now Jessica lost my vote when she proclaims that she has met a million Barnetts and she’s NOT playing that game. Honey, your spidey senses should have told you to run. Nice backtrack.

In the first two episodes, there has been 3 “engagements” and one in progress at the end of the episode. Between a man and a woman who just previously said to this man she tends to self-sabotage. By the look on her face, she might be planning just that, or maybe it’s to throw us off. I will have to wait and see.

In the meantime, here is a picture of my husband and I during the week after we met at the Montego Bay, Jamaica airport.

2026, life, Memories

Bad at Math

Posted on February 1, 2026February 1, 2026 by nancyb422

I was in third grade when I realized I was bad at Math. I made my way through adding, subtracting, simple multiplication and division, but long division tripped me up and revealed what would be a life long problem.

The complexity of carrying numbers made my head ache and I just couldn’t “see” how to do it. Especially under pressure in class!

My mother spent time with me at night working on it. She would take paper headed for the trash at work and use the backs of them to make up problems for me to work on. Did it help? Perhaps, but I from that point forward I labeled myself, “Bad At Math”.

I struggled through Algebra, Geometry, and Review Math in High School. But not Accounting. Accounting had a black and white to it. It all had to add up in the end. I had two semesters of Accounting in high school and 2 in college. If my college hadn’t closed the year I graduated with my Associate’s Degree, I would have continued on for another two years to get my degree in Accounting. But, with three grades of students needing to transfer, I thought let me take my degree and go.

Now for over 25 years, I’ve worked in our remodeling business as the bookkeeper using QuickBooks. Thank Heavens, because I’m still bad at math!

2025, Books, Memories

Cheaper By The Dozen

Posted on December 4, 2025December 3, 2025 by nancyb422

One of my favorite books growing up was “Cheaper by the Dozen”. It was a memoir published in 1948 by the children of Frank Bunker Gilbreth and Lillian Moller Gilbreth of New Jersey and takes place from the early 1900s through 1924.

Frank and Lillian were Time and Motion Study and Efficiency experts and they worked with companies to show how employees could be more efficient in their jobs. They had 12 children (actually 11 because one daughter died from diphtheria when she was 5).

The book shares stories of growing up in such a large family with a larger than life father in Frank.

I remembered this book when I was in the shower this morning – isn’t that where we all do our best thinking? One of the scenes in the book is Frank the father, showing his children, and then a larger audience, how to efficiently take a bath! He sits in a tub, or on the floor and describes as he goes through the motion of moving the soap from one side to the other, up the arms, down the legs and everywhere in between. His children were horrified!

The title of the book came from the times they would be driving down the road in the large, custom car they had to fit all the kids (this was the 1910s-20s), and someone would yell out, “Hey mister, how come you got all those kids?” He’d reply “Because they’re Cheaper by the Dozen!”.

The book was turned into a movie two years later and starred Clifton Webb and Myrna Loy, and a sequel called, “Belles on their Toes” was published which talks of the families life after Frank dies and Lillian continues the time and motion study company.

You might only know of the 2003 remake that stars Steve Martin. I’ve never watched it and likely never will! I think I will add the two books to my “Read again” list for some pleasant reading because my heavy books.

Have you ever read either book or seen either movie?