thoughts – Thoughts From The Passenger Seat

2026, thoughts

Breathing, Meta, and Mantra

Posted on August 10, 2026 by nancyb422

In the title are three types of meditations I do in my Peloton daily meditation. 10 minutes in the morning and the same meditation for a week with a different instructor.

I’m not crazy about breathing meditation because I feel like my breathing is wacky and on any given day, I have trouble with deep breaths. I call it Anxiety Breathing and have had it all my life. I panic when I can’t draw in a really deep breath. Most days, I’m fine. It must be all these meditation classes I’m taking!

Funny story #1 – I would be in church and would be breathing just regular breaths and I would go to inhale deep and if I couldn’t I would panic (internally, but there were plenty of times in life when I was little I’d freak out at inappropriate moments!), and just say over and over, “ok, wait, wait, just breath and they next one try!”. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn’t.

Funny story #2 – we took swimming lessons at our town pool growing up. I think it was the Intermediate group we were being taught the crawl. You know that one where you take a breath and stick your head in the water and then turn your head and exhale, inhale? Well, I would inhale, do a few strokes and when I would turn my head, I would never breathe in or out! I would just continue to hold my breath and then flounder about. No coordination whatsoever!

Unfortunately, last week and this week are 10 minute classes of breath work! A lot of deep inhales and sighing out of my mouth, along with box breathing this week.

Maybe it’ll make me a better breather. But I’ll never be a better swimmer.

2026, thoughts

Observations

Posted on August 9, 2026 by nancyb422

I’m sitting in the parking lot after 7:30 mass, waiting for the parking lot to empty a bit before heading out. After almost a year of attending, you would think I’d remember to wait instead of entering the scrum to exit!

Besides that, I love going to mass at this time in the morning. Because three churches merged into one parish, it is nicely populated. I see the same people sitting in the same pews every week. I do too. One young couple’s two daughter are the altar servers. One middle aged man arrives right at the start of the first reading. Every Sunday.

There are two priests for the parish right now. Although I like them both, Father Lane is my favorite. I enjoy his homilies.

Today the gospel was about Jesus walking on water and Peter being afraid when he tried to walk to him. Father Lane’s homily was about doubt. He talked about the doubts he had when he was first in the seminary to become a priest. What a big life changing decision that was. But he knew he had no reason to doubt his decision.

He told the story of how he was at a 30 day SILENT retreat. What? I can’t be silent for 30 seconds, I sat there wondering how it could be possible not to talk for 30 days.

2026, Goals, life, thoughts

Celebrate

Posted on July 11, 2026July 11, 2026 by nancyb422

*Some of my favorite flowers – I love the way they change color*

I call myself a Realist which is defined as “someone who recognizes and accepts situations as they actually are, dealing with them in a practical and objective manner.” But what happens, when that Realist never looks at the good that happens? They’re always working in the next situation, “dealing with it in a practical and objective manner”? Like Sisyphus pushing that rock up a hill over and over. Did they get to stop and say “hey! Good job!”

The other day, a blog I look forward to reading every day, Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50, celebrated her mini goals, big and small, and I know this is something I need to do for myself.

Though I don’t have any specific goals, her post made me realize, I need to reflect, recognize and celebrate the big and small events of the day.

I got through my day, recognizing and accepting situations, dealing with them in a practical and objective manner. Sometimes with a lot of loud, choice words, but I get through it. And then I get up and do it again, and again and again. Never stopping to think, “hey, that was a good thing that happened here”.

It’s time.

2026, thoughts

Opening Doors

Posted on June 26, 2026June 26, 2026 by nancyb422

This week’s mediation with Dennis Morton on Peloton is again, visualization. I think it’s all month actually!

He says to imagine a door – make it double doors – and as you breathe in bring yourself closer to the door. As you breathe out, the doors open and you go through them. Over and over again.

This is hard for me because I just want those doors to open and to come out on the other side, like to a babbling brook, not to another door!

My doors are big doors, with rivets framing the edges and a metal pad where you would put your hand to push it. Sometimes they are blue and remind me of the double doors leading out to the stairwell at my elementary school. There’s a rectangle window in each one so you can see if someone is on the other side.

Sometimes they are doors like in my mudroom, stained wood with rain glass in the window panes you can’t see the mess on the other side. Except they open out, and would crack me in the head.

What would your door look like if you wanted to bust through one while meditating?

2026, thoughts

Letting Go

Posted on May 25, 2026 by nancyb422

I have a friend in his mid-20s that I’ve known since he was six years old. We became acquainted through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.

He hasn’t had an easy life, and living with his grandmother and mother and moving through life devoid of any male guidance or mentor, meant he learned it, or made it up as it came along. Through the years, I tried to give him practical advice, made sure he had a male teacher or two, and even attended meetings in middle school with his advisors.

He started working right out of high school and was living on his own with a friend. He lost his job after a disagreement with the manager of the restoration company where he was employed and came to us asking for a job four years ago. I saw this as a great opportunity to work around good men, learn the carpentry trade, and have a good future with a thriving company. We’ve known him for so long, he was like a son to us.

Our contact before that had been minimal but with him as an employee, he’d stop in my office at the end of the day to talk and I was available to help him whatever he needed outside of work.

It was a rough few years, and we let him go in March. We both professed that it wouldn’t hurt our relationship, but because of how he left, it did.

It was hard to watch someone who was given an opportunity to learn a trade, learn from good people, just toss it aside because of he couldn’t take direction, or criticism. No matter how much I tried to guide him.

He’s now working on his own as a 1099 contractor without any of the benefits of being an employee like health insurance or someone else taking care of your taxes. But he’s making the money he thinks he deserves and he’ll figure it out. Some people just have to do it their way, and in the end, they can be successful. And that’s what I wish for him.

2026, thoughts

On The Road to Recovery

Posted on May 19, 2026 by nancyb422

I ended up staying home from the garden event that would have me wandering around in 80+ heat on Sunday and took myself to Urgent Care instead.

There was a long wait even with an appointment but I didn’t really expect much different on a Sunday morning.

Inflammation in the lungs, painful throat, no fever, diagnosis = Bronchitis. By the time I left the building, my prescriptions were ready to pick up down the road. The convenience of medical technology. They put me on 5 day Z-pack, some cough suppressant pills, and an inhaler. The inhaler is a first and I read the instructions obsessively before trying it out. It really does help!

I was feeling decent enough to stop and pick up a grilled cheese sandwich before I headed home. Coincidentally, as I was driving home from the restaurant my husband and friends were texting me to see if I wanted them to pick me up a grilled cheese sandwich! They were heading over to get theirs on the way home!

The medication has definitely kicked in and I went to work on Monday but avoided the fundraiser Tea Party meeting with a group of volunteers. I know when I won’t be wanted!

Today I’m feeling even better but my husband is insisting I can’t go to the event I’ve been planning on for a month – a psychic medium at our local brewery. I told him it will be a Game Time Decision. I really don’t want to miss it, but, in small area…..surround by other people and I’m sniffling from post nasal drip and clearing my throat and coughing?

Can I pass it off as allergies?!? What would you do?

2026, thoughts

Therapy Session

Posted on April 24, 2026 by nancyb422

Today I had an impromptu therapy session in my hair stylist’s chair.

Only one in the salon first thing this morning, and we just started talking and one story leads to another story leads to another! I didn’t realize I felt such a need to unburden myself but I know she is a great listener. We live in the same town, and know some of the same players and so share our opinions or fill in the gaps of knowledge.

If there had been another stylist and customer in the next chair, we would have all been chatting superficially, but because we were alone, we could talk as much and as loud (over the hair dryer) as we needed to.

I can be a clam, never wanting to reveal too much, or any, of my emotions because I’ll obsess about whether I “said too much”. Always measuring my words. It felt good to just talk.

2026, thoughts

A New Year

Posted on April 23, 2026 by nancyb422

My birthday was yesterday and with that always comes my thoughts for my “new year”. It’s a nice little reset four months into the actual new year.

A couple of things I’ve noticed. I spend too much time reading other people’s blogs instead of writing on my own TWO blogs. This one and my family one.

I spend too much time, again reading, trying to “figure myself out” through astrology. It has given me an understanding of myself but I want to make sure I don’t lean too hard into it. What happens when I finally figure it out? Like the dog who catches the car. Will I be any happier? Not likely, so maybe I’ll try to keep some of that mystery alive.

I continue to work out every day but it’s only been since last week that I am coming to grips with my diet. What’s the old saying? It’s 10% exercise, 90% diet. I reinstalled the My Fitness Pal app and have been tracking my food. Keeping it realistic to lose a 1/2 pound a week and that appears to put me at the healthy part of my diet overall. Of course, with my first weekly weigh in, I gained 2/10th of a pound but I’m blaming it on the soy sauce with the sushi for my birthday dinner. I just have to stay realistic. Overall though, I feel great!

We haven’t started any biking yet this year and I’m looking forward to riding on my Specialized that I bought last September. I managed to sell my first bike, the Salsa, last week and I’m glad that someone starting out will get to enjoy it. With that said, I’m going to take each opportunity that comes up to ride without thinking about what’s on my desk or that “I need to be there”, when it’s likely I don’t really need to be there.

Overall, I’m pretty pleased with the first four months but I always appreciate that birthday reset!

2026, life, thoughts

Being Short

Posted on April 9, 2026 by nancyb422

I am short. I hit my full 4’11” in sixth grade after a 4” growth spurt and it was all down hill from there. I blame my twin. If there weren’t two of us, I might have been taller. She disagrees with me.

Inside my body I don’t feel short and when I see pictures I don’t always feel short. But when I see short people next to average sized people in real life, I think, “holy crap! Is that what I look like?” Like do people think to themselves, “that is one short person!”

A plus to it is, I think anyway, that people think I’m younger than I actually am. People usually subtract 10 years when they say, “I thought you were _____”. The minus, I usually act younger than I actually am. And emotionally? Well, I think it’s around 12 or 13! But that’s a story for another day.

The worst part, the worst!, of being short is that pants are always too long. And I can’t buy them in stores because if they make petite or short, they are online.

Petite. Ha! Petite for 5’2” and under. Yet online they will say “the model wearing these is 5’10” and wearing a size 4 petite. Huh??

It’s not all doom and gloom though. There are some good brands that make “petite short” and “regular short” for those not-quite-petite short people. I’ll put myself in that category depending on the brand. I have managed to find them over the years and hang onto every pair for dear life!

But there’s the thing. After spending almost a lifetime wearing pants that are just “thismuch” too long, when I wear a pair that is the proper recommended length, I feel like my pants are too short because I’m overweight.

If you’re a shorty, you know what I mean. Or maybe I’m just crazy.

*Me and my twin maybe 7 or 8 at Mystic Seaport. I’m on the right*

2026, life, thoughts

DST Update

Posted on March 9, 2026March 9, 2026 by nancyb422

I didn’t realize I missed my early morning stars until I saw them this morning because of the time change!

I suffered a little yesterday from losing the hour of sleep. We always say we’re going to stay in bed on the weekend, but never do. We were up at 6am, which was really 5am. It was especially tough for me because we went out to dinner on Saturday night so I went to bed about an hour later than normal! That made 2 hours of lost sleep. No wonder why I felt off balance, figuratively and literally!

I went to bed last night at my usual time, heading upstairs around 9:15, read a bit, and had my light out by 9:40. I woke up refreshed and ready to go.

So it looks like I survived the time change and I’m actually happy to step out into the dark.