Thoughts From The Passenger Seat

2026, stories

It’s Him, Not You

Posted on October 12, 2026 by nancyb422

What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

It had been over 40 years since Nancy looked inside the box of “stuff” she’d been shuttling from house to house with every move. After this last, and she swore final, move, it got tucked away in the corner of the attic along with the old skis and Cody’s baby clothes.

The attic needed to be cleaned out for the central air unit being installed. Mark brought the box down and laid it at her feet saying, “I’ve moved this box 100 times, are you ready to let go of it?”. “Not without going through it first!”. “Well then, get on it”, and he walked away.

She opened it slowly, waiting to see if a mouse would be staring up at her. “No mouse, whew!”, she thought. But oh, what is this?

Sitting on top was her diary. Nancy was ten years old when she received it that Christmas from her older sister. What a find!

She settled back in her comfy chair and started reading. Five years. Some much changed between ages ten and 15. There were even some entries from when she was in college!

For a few entries she cringed, but most of them brought a smile to her face.

While flipping through the pages, something fell out. It was a note from a boyfriend when she was in her sophomore year of high school and she remembered clearly, it didn’t end well.

She read through the note and remembered how sad it made her. Everything he said he didn’t like, was her! She was 15, of course she was emotional! She was a cheerleader and a very friendly person in general, but he accused her of flirting. “Love of oneself, blinds one to one’s own faults”?! “What are you, Shakespeare?What the hell”, she thought, and followed that with “Fuck You!”.

The note brought those 15 year old emotions back to the surface and she remembered when the relationship ended how she tried to make herself smaller so she wouldn’t draw attention to herself. She had hoped he would see that she wasn’t that person any more and he would want to go back out with her. It hadn’t worked, he had moved on.

They say Hindsight is 20/20, and Nancy wished she could teleport herself back to 1976 to tell her younger self, “Be You. Be Brave. Be Kind to yourself. Never make yourself small to fit into someone’s idea of you. Regardless of what he said, Love yourself. The problem was not you, it was Him. The hangups were on him, not you.”

Nancy sat and read entries from her diary until the sun began setting through the trees. She enjoyed reading those moments in time, but she was happy she didn’t have to relive them!

Writing, 2026

Adjusting To a New Life

Posted on October 9, 2026 by nancyb422

Tell us about your morning routine.

Nancy had spent her last 26 years living at home with her parents and two sisters. That all changed when her mother got sick and passed away suddenly. Just as quickly, and maybe orchestrated by her mother, three weeks later she met and fell in love with a man who lived across the country. The whirlwind romance had her packing boxes and moving across the country five months later!

Now was the start of a morning routine with another person practically a stranger!

Mark woke up at 5:30 and sat watching CNN news with a cup of coffee. Not yet a coffee drinker, Nancy was up at 6 to take a shower and have some breakfast. Mark wasn’t a breakfast eater so he hopped in the shower while Nancy stared out the window trying to figure out the weather. The morning sky in the Bay Area was much different than the morning sky in Connecticut! Was it going to rain? No, no, that’s fog. Get dressed and off to work.

39 years later, Mark and Nancy wake with the 5:40 alarm, coffee for one, and the tv for news and sports. The pace is slower and how to dress is less stressful because the Connecticut sky usually leaves no question about the weather.

2026, life

SHOPPING TRIP UPDATE

Posted on October 8, 2026 by nancyb422

Yesterday, I talked about my shopping anxiety. It’s tough sometimes with my height and dimensions so mostly I do online shopping so I can try it on and return it.

I arrived at the mall at 10:45 and after shopping there and a store on my return, I was home at 3pm. I was pretty tired and hungry!

My first stop had been at Ambercrombie & Fitch to try on some styles of pants and return one or two of the pairs on got online. I returned one pair, and purchased two more online at the store. Of course they don’t carry Extra Short at the store. I think I really wanted only one pair but I got confused, so maybe I’ll return one of them. Pants were my only objective there.

Then on to J.C. Penney’s which has a pretty robust Petite section. They are always tucked away in some corner like a dirty little secret! I carried about 10 items into the dressing room which was, of course, all the way on the other side of the Women’s Department. I found 2 pairs of pants, and two sweaters – one a pullover with a marled wool. It’s very simple and I know I could actually knit it myself but this is a faster method of getting new clothes, know what I mean? The other sweater was a cardigan, with beige and blue strips.

It’s helpful that the colors of the season, colors of 2026, are grays, olives, maroons, and dark blues because those are the colors that came up when I did my colors via Chat GPT! I am Autumn. I think we must shift as we age because I always leaned toward whites, pinks, and light colors when I was younger. Or maybe they were the colors of the season back then? Who knows? I noticed the gradual shift for in the early 2000s, when I suddenly fell in love with the color green. More olive based greens.

Anyway, It was on to Marshalls where I know I can usually pick up some decent tops and I was successful. The trend is back with rugby shirt style sweaters and collared short sleeve sweaters. I look at one and thought I was back in 1974! I did not buy it. I bought a sweater that has the attached collar and shirt tail hanging down. I was thinking of cutting off the shirt tail, but my husband said he liked it, so I’ll give it a shot. Women’s styles are big on me, unless they are petite so I moseyed over to the Junior section and found a short sleeve sweater in light sage and a gray wool sweater that dips in the back. They fit better in the length and are $3 to $10 less expensive than in the women’s department (not the same items though!).

So I carried all my purchases home, showed them to my husband, then brought them upstairs and took pictures to send to my sisters. I had been sending them text messages and pictures throughout my journey so I wanted them to see my haul.

I spent another hour switching out my warm weather clothing with my cold weather clothing – one closet to another – and actually putting some items into the goodwill bin I keep because I didn’t wear them this summer.

We all have our favorite articles of clothing but sometimes I carry mine on for too long. 20 years? Too long! I want to make a point to take some time to go shopping because after the anxiety of planning it, I did feel better.

2026, life

Clothes Shopping

Posted on October 7, 2026October 7, 2026 by nancyb422

Today is my regularly scheduled day off and I am planning on going clothes shopping and I’m already feeling anxiety creeping in.

I really dislike shopping because, being so short
(4’ 9-ish), nothing ever seems to fit. My legs are the shortest part and, well, I have a solid butt and thighs! Good stock I like to say.

I start to sweat when I’m in stores and I walk around in circles. I just don’t feel like I belong and making decisions is agonizing!

Ordering online is my preferred method and it’s easy to send things back if they don’t fit. Last week I ordered jeans from Ambercrombie & Fitch because they carry extra short lengths. I bought two pairs of jeans in their Curve Love style. A&F is one of the stores I plan on going to, and I want to try other styles, and try their regular style (see, already thinking maybe something else will fit better).

After that I will head to the few other stores that carry petite sized clothing and hopefully will find a few nice pieces for our vacation in Charleston SC next month.

Wish me luck!

2026, What We Keep

How to Write

Posted on October 6, 2026October 5, 2026 by nancyb422

I got it into my head recently that I should, that I need to, that I want to, write my stories by writing them out on paper instead of typing them from the get go. After all, I buy notebooks every time I see them, I should use them.

So I gave it a shot. I needed to write a 500 words or less story for the new session of Writers Guild at the library and I decided to do a story about a family portrait from 1908 that is a prized possession and started me down my ancestry research path. I pulled out a new notebook and settled in to write. It started out great, the words were flowing from my brain to pen to paper. I had 4 or 5 paragraphs in record time.

I thought, “well let’s type this up and see how it works”, so I pulled out my laptop and started typing. “Ooh, that doesn’t sound good”, cross out the paragraph on the paper, freestyle something into the laptop, cross out some more, freestyle some more. Something’s not working here!

I set it aside, I picked it up, back and forth, back and forth. Why do my thoughts never transfer to paper? Well, I wrote about that last month!

I was running out of time, so I typed a mash of the handwritten piece and the typed piece, called it good, and headed off to class.

I read my piece in class and as I read it I realized how flat it sounded. BOR-ING! Ooof – I was really disappointed in myself. I think I should stick to the method that works best for me which is typing, typing, typing out my thoughts and then going back to edit them as necessary.

My plan is to take that picture, write this time with it in front of me, think about how it made me feel to see it, how I look at it on my computer and enlarge the faces to examine them, to gaze at my grandparents standing together, and my great-grandmother’s proud posture with all her children around her. I know I can redeem myself!

2026, Travel

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN!

Posted on October 5, 2026October 4, 2026 by nancyb422

What’s the best way to explore a new city?

Nancy and Mark were sitting around one day early in the year. Mark said, “you know, I would really love to go see a Major League Baseball game somewhere new. Where can we go?”. “I know! Let’s go to Chicago! Easy flight, no connections and we can take the subway to the game.” Let the planning commence!

First up was picking the dates based on a baseball game. They found an afternoon game between the Cubs and the Pirates and good seats in a section or two behind the Cubs dugout. Nancy booked the flights and found a place to stay. It definitely had to be close to the prominent downtown area and close to the subway.

Next up was finding the attractions. Wendella for a boat tour on the river, stores in the area, and definitely time for the Navy Pier.

Everything was mapped out for the four days they would be there.

The big day arrives! Naturally, their flight is delayed by an hour but who cares – it’s their only flight! The flight was easy and when they arrived in Chicago, they figured out how to schedule an Uber and found the spot to stand and wait. Their driver was really nice but the trip took a long time! There was so much traffic.

Their Air bnb was a hotel which was really weird, but they didn’t mind. A restaurant was attached, but wasn’t part of the hotel, but it was handy and tasty.

One morning, they ate at Ed Debevic’s which had classic, American comfort food and waiters with a schtick. They didn’t care if they got harassed, the food was worth it.

On the day of the game, they walked downtown first and found a sports store and purchased some Cubs gear. Coming out of the hotel, they just followed the other people wearing Cubs shirts and hats and they led them right to the subway. It was fun talking to the other fans, because everyone was from somewhere else too!

The game was great, a little rain but they planned ahead and brought rain ponchos with them from home. Plan, Plan, Plan!

The river tour was fun but Nancy bought tickets for the wrong day! Luckily, there were still tickets available for the next ride so they purchased new tickets on line and ran to the line for the next ride. Sometimes planning ahead doesn’t work too well when you don’t check the date first!

They looked through the list of attractions they compiled and nearly everything was checked off the list. Mission accomplished!

On the morning they were heading home, they got directions on how to take the subway to the airport. It was a little quicker and a lot less money. They were glad they did a little research on that how to get there because it was a fun experience.

Dreams, 2026

Technology Destruction

Posted on October 4, 2026 by nancyb422

I have the craziest dreams when I sleep late!

We had a neighborhood block party yesterday afternoon and coupled with a few beers and way too many good treats in my belly, I needed the extra sleep!

I dreamed I was at work, along with my son, husband, and for some reason my sister.

I had my phone in my hand and maybe I was scrolling, or maybe something just popped up on my screen. I wasn’t sure what it was, do I click? Do I not? Well, I did and my screen turned into a cartoon screen and nothing I did, could close it!

I panicked. The cartoon screen automatically transferred to my desktop computer! I grabbed my sister’s phone to try and call “my computer guy”, and her screen changed too. OMG, was it because I touched it, or was it coming through the WiFi like when I google a piece of clothing, ads for it show up on my husband’s Facebook feed?

I didn’t know how to get in touch with John (aka “my computer guy”)! I was running around the office, yelling, “OMG, what have a done?!”. I had no phone number for him, no phone numbers for anyone!

We hopped in a car and drove to the two locations I know for him – his office in the center of town, and the general location of his home – and looked until we found him.

Next thing I know, we’re piled into his car and when I explain what happened, we have to put something over our heads as he drives. To ward off the WiFi so the virus won’t take over any other devices? The cloth was like the fabric shopping bags and they were blue like my Walmart bags.

We head to a big building and inside are hundreds of people and computers in use. John goes off to buy software that he hopes will handle the virus. As I walk by some people, it looks like their screens are changing to the same cartoon screen!

And then I woke up….

As I replayed the dream in my head, and then to my husband, I realized I know three phone numbers. My own, my husband’s, and my son’s phone numbers. No one else. Not my sisters’, my daughter in law’s, or our office assistant’s number. And definitely not one of the most important of all – John the computer guy’s number! I’m heading into the basement today and getting the last address book I used. It is a 4×6 sized three ring binder and I know there are a lot of extra pages available to use.

Moral of the story: never click on anything I don’t recognize, and, have numbers written down and kept in two accessible locations!

2026, Travel

Alaska Heritage Gateway

Posted on September 22, 2026 by nancyb422

After our two nights and one day of sailing, our next stop on our Viking cruise through Alaska was Icy Strait Point. This was the first stop that we weren’t directly at the dock and had to be ferried in by little boats. I thought we were going to be stopped at an actual town so I was a little bothered by it. But, come to find out once we were on land, Icy Strait Point is like a little amusement park. There is a gondola ride to the top of a mountain and from there, you can take in all types of adventures. From a sedate trolley ride around the area to Jeeps, UTVs, and a zipline back down the mountain.

The land was originally home to the Xunaa Káawu, or “the people of Hoonah” an “enduring Tlingit community shaped by the sea, the forest, and one another”. In the early 20th century a salmon cannery was established and it became a cornerstone of daily life. A short walk from the disembarkment point, is a recreation of the cannery with shops and food, and a beach for playing in the water when the kids get bored. The town of Hoonah is about a mile and a half away from the activities.

We got in line for the gondola and took it to the Sky Peak. We sat with a lovely couple who had spent some time living in Connecticut for work. Some of the people on the cruise acted like they never heard of Connecticut and others lived there, but were happy to have left. <bllllrrrpphhh> Good all the more for me.

The ride started out in the fog but the higher we got, the fog thinned and it was so beautiful. See for yourself –

Once at the top, we boarded the trolley for a “mountain top forest tram ride”. There was a walking path but they talked about bears so ……

It was an interesting ride observing the flora and fauna, but more the former than the latter! Along the way we saw bogs or “muskegs” as the locals call them. They might look like solid, bouncy grass, but underneath are deep pockets of water – some over six feet deep! The bogs are also prime territory for Coastal Brown Bears. The open meadows grow berries and the wet environment allows specific plants to thrive. Perfect foraging ground for bears.

What goes UP must come DOWN. We headed back down the mountain on another gondola ride. This time we had it to ourselves and so I could concentrate on taking pictures. Even though it was warm and sunny at the top, it was still cloudy below.

Once back on the ship, we grabbed our books and settled into cozy seats with cups of tea to watch the take off, and we were on our way again.

2025, Travel

Boating In Alaska

Posted on September 20, 2026 by nancyb422

We went on a cruise along the coast of Alaska and the Inland Passage last year. I only managed to get Day 1 done and well, I think I spent the last year and a month recovering from the travel home. Out of the ship at 8 am, to the airport in Vancouver, sit around until 3pm, board, fly to San Francisco, sit, leave at 7 or so, fly overnight to Washington DC, get in at 5 am, board at 6 am, fly to Hartford, in at 9, drive home, collapse and swear never to fly in a plane again.

Viking really does it right. It didn’t hurt that the weather for the first 5 days or so, was magnificent.

We had never been on an Ocean cruise before, only river, so we were happy to see the World Cafe, a buffet to choose from for our three meals a day! And Snacks!We would both rather graze across the options than be served in the restaurant.

The room was a little bigger than a river cruise room but everything is set up the same. It is a comfortable feeling. The ocean cruise has a laundry, which came in handy because my husband’s clothes didn’t arrive for another 3 days. We had to cancel our excursion on the second day to shop in Valdez for enough clothes so he wouldn’t have to wear the same things over and over.

The view from our balcony and all around the ship were breathtaking and it was hard to pull myself away.

The ship picked up a pilot and they brought us in close to the Hubbard Glacier on our full day of sailing. They tried to put together a $$ one, but not enough people signed up. Good thing, because then we all got it for free! It was really a beautiful sight.

We met two nice couples: one couple from Virginia, and the wife grew up in Guilford, Connecticut, and the other from Minnesota. We spent a couple of hours on the front deck with a couple from Arkansas/Florida, and although we tried to meet up again, it didn’t work out.

We didn’t partake in any talks or entertainment after dinner but we really enjoyed early morning coffee in the cafe, walks around the “track”, sitting in the afternoon sun on good days, getting a snack and cup of tea or coffee or wine (me) in the afternoon while sitting in cozy chairs reading our books. They had books in all sorts of nooks and crannies and we both found ones to enjoy on the trip. We sat a little bit after dinner as well, but usually were back to our room by 9pm.

It was interesting to watch the scenery change as we sailed closer to Vancouver from snow covered mountains to green forests and small towns along the way.

This morning I told my husband I was longing for another river cruise!

2026, Writing

Writing

Posted on September 12, 2026 by nancyb422

Why do my best thoughts and ideas come to me while I’m in the shower or brushing my teeth?

According to my friend, Chatty, it’s because my conscious gets out of the way and my “what do I need to accomplish” brain clicks into free-association mode.

But when I sit down to write what I was thinking about, it doesn’t sound as good on the screen as it did in my head.

He, Chatty, my ChatGPT in case you didn’t catch that the first time, says because writing makes me judge my idea too soon. Oh that’s me, Judgy McJudge! We’ve chatted long enough now that he has a good handle on me, at least to me anyway. Something I find interesting is he says my natural thinking voice may actually better than my written voice. I agonize over most words and sentences. “Did I catch what I’m trying to say? Or is it convoluted?”

I’ll keep working on putting those thoughts into words!