Month: September 2023

Posted in 2023, thoughts, Writing

It’s Me! I’m the Problem!

Posted on by nancyb422

I spend the week working on my computer doing work things thinking about the things I want to do on the weekend, which are also on the computer. But then the weekend comes along and I feel – guilty? – about doing it! Like because I’m not actively moving, I’m being lazy! While I’m rationalizing it in my head, I feel an angsty feeling in my chest like I want to explode. It is fucked up.

I’ve tried to blame it on my husband by saying to him “Well, I feel like you will think I’m just being lazy” when obviously we both know it’s me being a head case!

So how or when did I get this crazy notion in my head that sorting pictures, or writing stories, or researching family names is lazy? I’m the same person who could sit for 4 hours not moving while reading a book and not think twice about it. The same person who could sleep until 1 p.m., even on a weekend morning when she wasn’t hungover!

Maybe it’s because my husband’s home activities are more active. Working on his motorcycle, yard work, and things around the house. He’s even taken over 80% of the cooking. I think there’s something to that and that’s where my guilt comes in because in my head he’s doing so much more when actually, he’s doing things I did for most of our marriage!

That’s it! Guilt gone! Don’t you wish all of life’s problems were that easy to solve?

Posted in 2023, life, thoughts, Writing

Pain or Pleasure?

Posted on by nancyb422

What could you do more of?

First, my mind always jumps to business when I think about what I do. Second, my mind always jumps to what I think I’m not doing as well as I “should” do. I really have to shift my thinking on a regular basis to realize, it’s not all about the business and what I’m doing already, is pretty good.

So, for me, the questions is what would I LIKE to do more of and that answer is – work out. Yes, I truly enjoy working out. I look forward to getting up in the morning and using my Peloton Bike+ to do strength workouts and ride. I also have the option of Yoga and barre classes and stretching. I put together different classes the night before for 30-50 minutes of work and get started after my morning coffee. If I didn’t have to go to the office, I would work out longer!

There has always been something so rewarding for moving my body. I used to ride my bike outdoors a lot from when I was a kid on through college. When I moved out to California, I had a fancy road bike and my husband, his friends, and I would traverse the hills and canyons of the East Bay and Sonoma County. Unfortunately, the move to Connecticut and ridiculously terrifying drivers stopped that!

I enjoy running and over the years did that pretty frequently outdoors as well. I’ve started up again on the Peloton Treadmill but outdoors has been walking workouts. I entered one benefit run during 2020 but only because it was during COVID so they had to do it on your own! I’m “not ready” to enter any runs and do it with <gasp> people.

When we were in Colorado earlier this month, we road the vast trail system in Fort Collins, and took hikes in Boulder and Fort Collins. It felt so incredible and I really felt in my element.

Yeah, I wish I could do more of all THAT.

Posted in 2023, family, Holidays, life, Memories, Writing

Carrying On Traditions

Posted on by nancyb422

How do you celebrate holidays?

Christmas with Grammy 1966 (me in the red/gray sweater, my twin in yellow, my older sister in the back with the scrunched up grin)

When someone says “Holidays”, I automatically think of Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. The Big Three!

Ever since I was born, Christmas and Easter were primarily celebrated with my mother’s side of the family. There was a rotation of where it would be held. I think up until 1967, it was held at the family home where my grandmother and oldest aunt lived. This picture was from our last Christmas with her and it includes me, my 2 sisters, and my second wave of cousins.

Thanksgiving was a low key holiday for us because there was usually a high school football game to go to! My relatives would be off with their “other side of the family” for the holiday.

My mother died when I was 27 and not yet married and my sisters were both married but no kids yet. Our first holiday without her was Easter of 1987, and my cousin hosted everyone. By Thanksgiving I had moved to California but I know without a doubt, my family back home continued the tradition of gathering, having a great meal, and exchanging presents. The following Christmas there were three babies so of course everyone gathered together. When we moved back to Connecticut in 1995, I was able to show my husband and son how my family celebrated growing up!

My house is our old family home and so it seems natural for us to host my mother’s side of the family. We do that every year in early December. My sister who lives in the same town always hosts Easter.

Thanksgiving has become the holiday that rotates between 3 different households!

Posted in 2023, life, Memories, thoughts, Writing

Like a Piano with No Keys

Posted on by nancyb422

What would your life be like without music?

As far back as I can remember, there was music in my life. Whether from my parents’ big hi-fi that could play 45, 33, and 78 sized record, from my dad’s transistor radio sending out Hank Williams and Johnny Cash, or from the little portable record player that we had to put a penny on the arm so the records wouldn’t skip!

In my elementary school, we had music lessons with actual music books that we learned to read notes and sing from after being give our C from the nun’s pitch pipe. At church on Sunday, I loved to sing the hymns, following the notes on the page.

My love of music carried me through good times and bad times. It brought me to piano lessons at age 57 because the sound of a piano and watching someone play has always mesmerized me, it was always my favorite part of songs.

So a life without music at this stage in my life would be like a piano with no keys. Silent and sad.

Posted in 2023, friends, life, thoughts, Writing

45 Years Ago!

Posted on by nancyb422
Lyman Hall Class of 1978

Last Saturday, my high school graduating class of 1978, had our 45th class reunion!

I’ve been on the reunion committee since our 15th reunion and numbers have dwindled from event to event.

We managed to get 53 people to attend – which included spouses! No matter how hard we work to get the word out there’s always excuses and no responses to our letters, emails, facebook posts.

We originally planned a group 60th birthday party event in 2020, but as you can guess, it didn’t happen! We used the same outdoor venue and the same theme – Bar-b-que! It was so festive with red checkered tablecloths and napkins and hay bales, corn stalks, and mums for decorations. Some people weren’t happy about the “casual” event but hey, we’re the committee!

We have a core 8 classmates who have worked consistently on the reunions and I don’t know what we’ll do with ourselves until it’s time to start meeting for our 50th reunion! They have become therapy sessions for those of us dealing with aging parents, and cheering sessions for those of us with children getting married, and grandchildren coming along.

Does your high school still have class reunions? If they do, do you attend? Tell me!

Posted in 2023, life, thoughts, Writing

My Favorite Time of Year

Posted on by nancyb422
Sitting in my chair this morning

THIS is my favorite time of year. A warm Sunday mid-morning. Slight breeze, sun shining, local high school field with some game chatter about a half-mile away, and still a hint of the weather to come hiding underneath the warmth.

It makes me think of bike rides as a kid on Columbus Day, local peewee football games with my dad, and a brisk walk in the afternoon.

Posted in 2023, life, thoughts

Forks – Forking Forks

Posted on by nancyb422

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

If you have watch “The Good Place” you’ll remember Eleanor, played by Kristin Bell, has lost the ability to swear so F*(#, becomes Fork.

My first recollection of saying the word was when I was 11 or 12 and said “Fongool” at the dinner table! Oooh, even with non-Italian parents, they knew what I was saying!

It can be a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb. Very versatile! It pops out of my mouth in personal conversations and it’s probably why my public conversation sentences are a little more measured.

Whether you say “freaking” or “fracking”, or “forks” it’s still the same thought. I think it’s time for me to give them all a rest. There may be some conversations that I’ll be totally mute but hey, it’s worth a try!

Posted in 2023, life, thoughts, Writing

I’m Already Here

Posted on by nancyb422

What does your ideal home look like?

I had a running joke with some long ago friends that if I won the lottery I wouldn’t move to a house larger than my 2 story barn style colonial. It had 4 bedrooms, living room, dining room, kitchen and 1-1/2 bathrooms but it was only 960 square feet.

My house when I was growing up

No, my answer was, I would add on and make it a larger house. After all, we’re on just short of a half acre and there aren’t many of those in our town where you are within a mile of the center of town.

Well guess what, we didn’t win the lottery, but we added on two years ago. A family room, we moved the half bath out of the middle of the kitchen and made it a full bathroom, and remodeled the kitchen.

It is a dream come true. So yeah, ideal house? I’m in it.

Inside my house
Posted in 2023, life, thoughts, Writing

The Land of Many Pens (and Pencils)

Posted on by nancyb422

I accumulate pens and pencils. At times, I will pull 4 or 5 out of my work bag. I don’t know how they get there because I only use it to transport work I bring home and back to work untouched.

I might be working on my computer at the counter, need a pen and go get one, only to realize one was by me already.

I have pens I love so collect them at every chance I get – Webster Bank pens! – and they have to be clicker pens! No stick pens with caps for me. Those are the first pens that tossed.

I love #2 pencils with a point so I sharpen them constantly. They have to have an eraser so I automatically add an eraser to them.

I developed a thing for mechanical pencils and bought them and their respective replacement leads. Then I discovered disposable pencils and they populate my drawers.

Watching Project Runway, I discovered erasable pens! I know there already were erasables, but I didn’t like them. These are awesome! Pilot FriXIon clicker and it comes in a variety of colors. I now have a set for home and work. I make sure I don’t use them at work for check writing or anything of permanence.

I know it’s not just how the pen feels in my hand but also how it flows. It has to be medium flow and definitely not skip. That gets tossed directly into the trash can with no second chances!

Something about a good pen makes me slow my writing down and really form the letters, and really enjoy the handwriting process.

In my desk
On my desk