I spend the week working on my computer doing work things thinking about the things I want to do on the weekend, which are also on the computer. But then the weekend comes along and I feel – guilty? – about doing it! Like because I’m not actively moving, I’m being lazy! While I’m rationalizing it in my head, I feel an angsty feeling in my chest like I want to explode. It is fucked up.
I’ve tried to blame it on my husband by saying to him “Well, I feel like you will think I’m just being lazy” when obviously we both know it’s me being a head case!
So how or when did I get this crazy notion in my head that sorting pictures, or writing stories, or researching family names is lazy? I’m the same person who could sit for 4 hours not moving while reading a book and not think twice about it. The same person who could sleep until 1 p.m., even on a weekend morning when she wasn’t hungover!
Maybe it’s because my husband’s home activities are more active. Working on his motorcycle, yard work, and things around the house. He’s even taken over 80% of the cooking. I think there’s something to that and that’s where my guilt comes in because in my head he’s doing so much more when actually, he’s doing things I did for most of our marriage!
That’s it! Guilt gone! Don’t you wish all of life’s problems were that easy to solve?
Thoughts From The Passenger Seat 