Digging In

If you are a reader here, you’ll see I can be “in my head” a lot.

I am reading a book entitled, “High Functioning” overcome your hidden depression and reclaim your joy by Dr. Judith Joseph.

I have told myself that I don’t fall into the perfectionist category and a lot of what she says about overworking was something I did in the past, but not now. However, by beating myself up mentally, I think I should be perfect, or strive to be perfect. Both in my work and my “being”.

She says it relates back to “trauma” most times childhood based, but not always. There can be trauma with a capital T or it can be lower case t.

What I’m more concerned about is that feeling of “blah”. Anhedonia – the reduced ability to experience joy in life which makes you feel meh or blah all the time. For me, I t’s a feeling of doing to get through the day and then the night. When did that start?

I have begun to explore how all this figures in my life. I can see why I am never (never ever) happy with my weight or shape.

I’m beginning to understand some thoughts and reactions in my marriage.

As my business coach says, “what gets measured, gets improved”.

I’m looking forward to digging in deeper.