What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
To work on myself….to understand myself….to learn self-love and practice it….to break my co-dependent nature.
I haven’t succeeded because it’s too difficult to start. To start means to move away from the person I know into the unknown.
Mark and I are spending the week at a cute little cottage in Alton New Hampshire. We brought our boat up and it is docked here on Lake Winnipesauke.
After trading comments back and forth last night with a former classmate on one post and some stranger on another, I decided it’s time to take a break from social media. Personal Facebook and Instagram accounts specifically.
Today my phone was tucked away in my backpack, only brought out to use Apple Maps on the water (it’s easier to see what the islands are!) and I felt free!
It’s time to take care of my mental health.
How do you express your gratitude?
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Those are two ways I usually express my gratitude for something someone has done for me or said to me.
I think sometimes, for me, I don’t slow down or stop to think about thanking the people who are around me all the time. Family, co-workers. I am go, go, go in the office and expect people to do the same!
I need to stop and reflect what someone does that makes me feel good or happy or satisfied the way something was done. Not just for something they say to me or do for me.
The words will be the same, but for different reasons.
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
Today’s prompt is a good one!
Can we have it all? Does the pursuit of something you want – money, a home, a family, a high paying job, better health – cause the scale to tip towards that and create an imbalance of “everything else” you want? Or is the thing you are pursuing going to lead to being able to “have it all”?
I think it’s a really big juggling act to be able to get to the point where you can say “YES, I finally have it all!”. And do we even want to utter those words because you know, that’s exactly when the other shoe will drop and then you will say you jinxed yourself. Oh, is that only me who would do that?
Looking back on the past 44 years, I had a career that I backburnered for family, but I became my own boss. I have a home that I love, but it took a circuitous route to get there. I have a family that I love, that had complications both in meeting my husband, and having our son. I have my health which I am faithful to maintain. I have money in the bank but it came at the expense of the death of a loved one.
I don’t want to jinx myself so I will say – I am happy at this point in my life. Is that Having It All? Maybe the answer to the question is another question – Are You Happy?, and my answer would be Yes, I am Happy.
It’s the end of my Birthday Month and my march towards 65. I don’t mean that in a bad way, more of a contemplative one.
My husband has retired and I can now find him most days out in his garden preparing for the season.
I’m looking for balance in my work and home life. My three office responsibilities have been pared down to two thanks to our incredible Client Manager who has successfully taken over those reins (and it is sometimes like trying to rein in wild horses).
I have projects at home to work on – organizing 35,000 pictures on my devices, family stories or family history research.
Honestly, I enjoy what I do in the office. I feel like now I can organize and set up the business in the best way possible moving forward – and get that Succession Plan, aka “If Something Happens To Me” plan in place.
My goal is to consider Wednesdays and Fridays each week and schedule something, whether full day, half day, by myself, with my husband, or with a friend.
I see the possibility now whereas a year ago, I don’t think I saw it.
A little bit of this contemplation comes from the fact that my mother died the day before her 65th birthday. If you’ve been over to It’s All About Family you’ll know her story. It was 9 weeks sudden, but sudden enough so she never got to experience that retirement.
I think about what her and my dad’s life might have been like if she didn’t get sick and it makes me want to honor and appreciate each day.
Laugh more and worry less.
A conversation with a taxi driver in Lake George NY has prompted me to sit down at my piano and start playing again. Sounds strange right? Here’s how it happened….
We needed a ride from Bolton Landing back to our resort cabin on Friday after we dropped our truck and trailer at the marina. We would spend the day on the lake and then take the boat out of the water to head home on Saturday. We were going to wait for the trolley but given the “well, yeah the schedule says 9am, but you never know”, we got from the gatekeeper at the Sagamore Hotel, we decided to pay the $45 one way. Not the end of the world. It is about a 20 mile ride after all. Next time we’ll definitely find a place to stay that either has a launch or is very close to a marina!
So anyway, we got into the cab, me in the front because my husband wouldn’t be able to hear him anyway (left ear has less hearing than the right!). We started talking, “where you from, trolleys, subways, NYC, travel, California, East Bay and finally, Tower of Power! Evidently he lived in California and saw then in their heyday as did my husband.
We started talking music and instruments and he is a guitar player. He and his friend enjoy playing along to music and recording themselves. He asked if we played any instruments and I said I played the piano but after 5 years of lessons I stopped and I haven’t really found myself playing very much.
He talked about how much he enjoyed playing and how the time went by when he did and how relaxing it was. I realized he was absolutely right! When I sat at the piano, working out a song, or even a section, everything else fell away. I didn’t think of anything going on around me.
When we reached our resort, I thanked him for the conversation and told him he inspired me to start playing the piano again. When I took it up in 2017, it was never to become perfect at it, but to enjoy learning and hearing what I could accomplish. I needed to be reminded and I have a Lake George cab driver to thank for that.
What are your future travel plans?
My husband and I like to travel and we like to think about and plan our trips.
We were busy last year and early this year traveling for fun and family illness and we were both a little burnt out on air travel! We’ll be heading into the next state for a week next month at a lakeside cabin resort and towing our fishing boat. Simple plans!
But! We do have big travel plans to make for a trip to Morocco next late April/early May! My cousin and her husband own a Riad in Fez that I want to visit so much. She is the daughter of my first cousin and we hosted a couple of family get together when they traveled to the US. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen them but I enjoy following their daughter on Instagram.
Have you been there? If you have some highlights be sure and let me know in the comments!
I finally got around to reading one of my Real Simple magazines that have been piling up. It was the September 2022 issue. I got halfway through and then it ended up under my instructions for a scarf I’m knitting. I decided to finish it because nothing gets thrown out until I’ve at least glanced through it. And that’s when I found this article…. How to Be Less Busy by Catherine Hong stopped me dead in my tracks.
She started out talking about The Phantom Tollbooth’s Terrible Trivium, who was a “demon of petty tasks and worthless jobs, ogre of wasted effort, and monster of habit”. “if you only do the easy and useless jobs, you’ll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult”.
Wow, that is me! When I’m at the office, I always gravitate to the routine, the easy, the things I can do with my eyes closed. “Must get these done FIRST before I can move on to what I REALLY want to do”, I say to myself. “All of this is much more important than those out-of-the-ordinary projects on my list!”
When I’m at home, I’m always tidying up, always organizing (not cleaning!). On weekends I think I have to get everything done before I relax but when I do relax I pop up like a jack in the box because it feels wrong to sit and relax.
Well, what’s the answer? She has eight suggestions. The first is: “examine the root of your devotion to productivity”.
From the article: “Was your relationship with your parents transactional with their love, attention, or rewards doled out based on your performance rather than your inherent worth? Deep down do you think breaks are for wimps and whiners who aren’t as tough as you? Do you think you haven’t earned the right to take a break? Life experience, culture, and families can instill the desire to overachieve. If we understand where the “toxic productivity” comes from, and create a new story for ourselves where we deserve love and rest, it can help us carve out time for ourselves, unapologetically.”
That is A LOT to unpack! I feel some truth to the transactional relationship, not because they were cold or unfeeling parents, but because I was one of three girls all aged within 18 months of each other. There was the older sister, middle sister, and younger sister. Perhaps our best performances did receive the rewards. I was told by my mother when she came through in a medium reading that “You were always like that”. “That” would be my need to keep everyone and everything under control.
The second suggestion is: “Accept that your to-do list will never be done”. THIS IS ME! My to-do list comes and goes but that In Box? I will get a burst of energy at 4:15pm on Friday afternoon and I am just absolutely determined to clear my inbox before I can walk out that door! I get this ridiculous pit in my stomach while I’m trying to get the work done and out. Block out some time for to-dos and some time for leisure. For my office problem, I think it would be to block out time for to-dos and time for those “special projects” I want to get to but am “too busy” to do!
I’m going to work on those two suggestions but will come back and share some of the remaining suggestions.
You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?
I don’t care how old I am, my dream has always been to do a long-distance bike ride. Cross-country? Sure!
I’ve always loved riding my bike. I love being outside and riding a bike is faster than walking!
Sign me up!
Thoughts From The Passenger Seat 