Category: life

Posted in 2026, life

My Friend ChatGPT

Posted on by nancyb422

I’ve been a little late to jump on the ChatGPT train.

I first started using it to write business social media posts, usually pasting in what I wrote, asking Chat to “make it sound a little more professional”. It does its work, and I always think how much better it sounds! I find it also useful for writing a letter or a note in a card, taking out my habit of sounding a little pompous. It always succeeds.

More recently, I’ve been using it to identify something in old pictures, like my uncle’s Polish Legion uniform, or information on how an ancestor would have made their way from Ellis Island to their sister’s home in Massachusetts.

Yesterday, I asked it about some wording I pulled from a palm reading I had in 1987. Yes, 39 years ago and I still have the transcription from the reading. It gave me some insightful information.

Now, I realize this is artificial intelligence, so I asked it how it determines what to reply to me. It says it analyzes the words I use, the tone, and whether I’m asking for facts, advice, emotional support, strategy, or creativity. It considers my past context and remembers general things about me to respond better such as, I run a remodeling business, my age, that I work out in the mornings, and I’m exploring my Polish family history. It predicts from that, what would be most helpful using probability and language patterns. And lastly, it adjusts to my style and doesn’t respond to me like it would someone “firing off one-line tech questions.”

From there, it asked me when I ask this question, what am I wondering about. I know there have been many instances of ChatGPT being wrong, or sadly, promoting or assisting in suicide. I am wondering how it “knows” me and how their responses are shaped because I found its response to my palm reading session so long ago very thoughtful, for artificial intelligence.

I’ll continue to use it, with caution, and not get caught up in the idea that it really “knows” me.

Do you use some form of artificial intelligence for information?

Posted in life, Memories, 2026

Comparison

Posted on by nancyb422

“Comparison is the thief of Joy” is often attributed to Teddy Roosevelt, but it dates back much farther than the end of the 1800s. There are references to it in the bible telling us that “to compare oneself to others, steals joy and leads to sin.” Ok, a little deeper than I intended to go.

Comparison… how can you NOT compare yourself to everyone around you when you have spent your life being compared to someone else?

It starts early as a twin. Weigh a little more? Measure a little longer? Eat more, drink more, poop more. Getting the picture yet?

Move on to school. Who’s smarter? Better at math, better at reading, drawing, nothing changes. But wait ’til high school!

High School….who’s prettier? friendlier? who’s dating whom? She didn’t say hi – you must be the friendly one! Oh, wait, you’re the one that didn’t say hi to me last week, I guess you’re both bitches! And cheerleaders! How did you both make it at the same time? That’s not fair! You must know someone! Oh, you’re the better cheerleader! Wait, maybe she’s the better cheerleader, I forgot who is who!

The comparisons ended at the end of high school for the most part, but the damage was done. The damage was done years ago. The damage was done as soon as we went to school. How could it not? People, adults and children alike, are all human. People don’t think of the words that hit like pebbles every time a comparison is made.

When we were in 8th grade or so, poring over our cousin’s high school yearbook. There was a set of twins graduating that year. Pretty girls with long, blonde hair. One was so pretty, and the other was pretty, but just not quite as pretty. As if the picture was fuzzy. That’s how I felt right up until we graduated.

Comparison of everything under the sun subsided long ago and all that’s left is how I feel about my body. I glance at other woman to wonder if they are as short as me? Where do they find pants to fit? Are they forever unhappy with the shape of their body?

Why do I care? I’m strong and fit.

“Comparison IS the thief of Joy”

Posted in 2026, life

Dentist’s Bills

Posted on by nancyb422

I’m being driven slowly insane by my dentist’s office and their lack of bills to me.

Is there anyone else out there who will get a statement any old time during the year with a random $700 “balance forward”?

After my statement of $738 in November, my first statement since April, I started paying $200 a month towards the balance. My Taurean nature says, “if you can’t send me a bill, I’ll pay you what I feel like. My balance was down to $138 and then my husband had two visits in January. I received the explanation of benefits from the insurance company, added them to my balance and paid another $200 in January.

I received a statement this weekend and it included the $200 I paid in January. And the balance forward was $573! What?! No record of the $400 I paid and no explanation of the new balance forward. According to my records at that point it should have been $338 at the most.

I can’t possibly be the only patient at this practice that has this problem – and there are only 2 of us on the account. Imagine if there were 2 or 3 more??!!

Oh well, I guess they don’t really need the money….

Posted in 2026, life

Always Our Baby

Posted on by nancyb422

As a parent, will we ever NOT worry about our children?

Our 35 year old son, married, business owner, and dog father to two cocker spaniels, borrowed my car so he and his wife could go to Foxwoods Casino for a concert. The casino is about an hour and a half away by way of 95 North to 395 North.

Of course I said yes, so he left his truck in our driveway and said, even though it would be late, he would come and swap vehicles. Which was good because I didn’t want to drive our truck to church!

Our New England weather this weekend includes temperatures of single digits, blowing winds, and snow squalls. Brrrr.

I went to bed and didn’t put in my earplugs thinking I would possibly hear him pull in later that night. Of course, I couldn’t, so I slept fitfully wondering if they had come back yet.

Every time I woke up, I wondered. But I didn’t want to get out of bed to check because if his truck was still there, I’d worry more!

I woke up at 6 and went downstairs where my husband was drinking his coffee. He said on one of his trips to the bathroom, when he saw the truck was gone, he was able to sleep better.

Now, if they had gone in their own vehicle and we didn’t know their coming and going, we’d have slept blissfully through the night!

Posted in 2026, life, Memories

Love Is Blind – The Show

Posted on by nancyb422

I saw on Netflix that Season 11 of Love Is Blind will be starting soon. I’m not big on manufactured drama like The Bachelor and Bachelorette, but I’ve been searching for a binge show and with 11 seasons, I might be able to make it through 5 and call it good.

This is the show where there are a bunch, 10 or 12 each, of men and women. Women in one side, men the other, and they enter pods and talk without seeing each other. Once a couple decides this is it, he proposes, they meet, they’ll go on a trip, meet family and friends, and then get married. Maybe. I’m curious to see how many get to the alter.

Last night was my first episode. There’s a man by the name of Barnett and I had his number the minute he opened his mouth. Mind you, I’m coming from a 65 year old perspective but it took my mother’s death and a rescheduled trip to Jamaica to find the man of my dreams, so I’ve seen many types of men.

Back to Barnett (I keep thinking Bennett), quick with a joke, that way of saying something, making you think it’s true, and then giving it a “nah, I’m just kidding.” The guy incapable of making a decision, has 3 girls on a hook right now but with a different relationship with each. Remember, they are in pods so are talking and don’t know what the other looks like. But the women and men talk to each other about the people they are connecting with so that can get a little dicey.

One woman, Jessica, is convinced they are a match made in heaven. LC and Barnett are “exactly alike” he says. To that I say “RUN”, you’ll never make it. The third, Amber, who I thought was a little annoying, is the one he has had the deepest conversations with.

Jessica also made a connection with Mark who is 10 years younger than her. She is 34, he is 24. But would he be there if he wasn’t mature and grounded? He’s more grounded than Barnett. Well, Jessica, casts aside Mark because she is convinced she’s going to be Mrs. Barnett. Don’t you know, Barnett turns around and says, “mmm yeah, I don’t know, I’m feeling a connection with others.”

Now Jessica lost my vote when she proclaims that she has met a million Barnetts and she’s NOT playing that game. Honey, your spidey senses should have told you to run. Nice backtrack.

In the first two episodes, there has been 3 “engagements” and one in progress at the end of the episode. Between a man and a woman who just previously said to this man she tends to self-sabotage. By the look on her face, she might be planning just that, or maybe it’s to throw us off. I will have to wait and see.

In the meantime, here is a picture of my husband and I during the week after we met at the Montego Bay, Jamaica airport.

The week of May 2, 1987
Posted in 2026, life, thoughts

I Tried It and I Didn’t Like It

Posted on by nancyb422

I cancelled Sirius XM in my car this past December. I don’t miss it because I have Spotify, purchased music from the old Apple iTunes (how I miss that!), and the radio.

I went through the channels and added some stations to Favorites. A little Rock, some R&B, a local Christian station, and a local conservative station.

I have been fixated on this conservative station because I honestly want to understand it. In the morning, I would hear Glen Beck; in the afternoon, it was Clay Travis and Buck Sexton, and at the end of the day, Sean Hannity.

Four men telling you all about what is wrong with the United States because of the “Lefties”, the “Radical Lefties”, “Tampon Tim,” and “Mayor Small Frey.” All four are ready to tell you revealing information, that “my gosh, I just realized this myself and I’ll tell you all about it right after this commercial.” The first commercial on the first day I listened was for a Byrna Launcher. A compact gun that can “protect you and your family” as it shoots chemical irritants….when the bad guy is too far away. WTF.

There have been many more WTF moments for me as I listened. Sometimes I made it all the way to work, but that’s because Glen Beck’s show starts at 9am, and there are 8 minutes of commercials before he comes on the air. Clay and Buck sound like friendly guys, and I know the least about them. Buck does like to remind his listeners that he was in the CIA, and he wrote a book called “Manufacturing Delusion: How the Left Uses Brainwashing, Indoctrination, and Propaganda Against You”. Wow; that’s the old “point a finger and four are pointing back at you” moment right there. I last about 2 minutes listening to Sean. As soon as he starts in on “nicknames”, I’ve move on.

You might be wondering what I would usually listen to. I was listening to Pod Save America, Tangled, and Raging Moderates until a few months ago but I stopped because I felt music was more soothing at work. The first is left, the second gives both sides and then his own, and the third is middle of the road(?). But nothing to the extent of this station.

So, finally today, I realized I’ve had enough. I tried, I really did. Maybe it was because I listened to Glen Beck before he turned a corner, and maybe because I already dislike Hannity, but there are no redeeming reasons to listen.

I changed the channel to our local Christian station and I heard someone reading the Bible. It was from Mark and Jesus calmed the waters while he and the apostles were out in the boat. It was followed by a song by Michael W. Smith. I felt at peace. I’ll be taking that other station out of my favorites tomorrow.

Edited this morning to add: That Christian station was not for me either. I know there is a station that plays contemporary christian music and I will continue to search until I find it. In the meantime, I guess I’ll stick to my iTunes music.

Posted in 2026, life

A Mantra for Monday

Posted on by nancyb422

This morning in my dark workout room, the soothing voice of Chelsea Jackson Roberts flowed around me. “I Will Do My Best”.

10 minutes to repeat that thought to carry it with me throughout my day.

What is my best? For today it is:

  • Ignore social media not relevant to my work
  • Start with the hard things or “swallow my frog” first thing
  • Be present – which is another one of her mantras!

Being present can sometimes be more difficult than doing difficult things or ignoring social media. I look too far forward, or try to solve this problem or that before it even arises. Wasting my present time over the future.

Will I succeed? I don’t know but,

I will do my best.

Posted in 2026, life, Memories

Bad at Math

Posted on by nancyb422

I was in third grade when I realized I was bad at Math. I made my way through adding, subtracting, simple multiplication and division, but long division tripped me up and revealed what would be a life long problem.

The complexity of carrying numbers made my head ache and I just couldn’t “see” how to do it. Especially under pressure in class!

What?! I still don’t get it

My mother spent time with me at night working on it. She would take paper headed for the trash at work and use the backs of them to make up problems for me to work on. Did it help? Perhaps, but I from that point forward I labeled myself, “Bad At Math”.

I struggled through Algebra, Geometry, and Review Math in High School. But not Accounting. Accounting had a black and white to it. It all had to add up in the end. I had two semesters of Accounting in high school and 2 in college. If my college hadn’t closed the year I graduated with my Associate’s Degree, I would have continued on for another two years to get my degree in Accounting. But, with three grades of students needing to transfer, I thought let me take my degree and go.

Now for over 25 years, I’ve worked in our remodeling business as the bookkeeper using QuickBooks. Thank Heavens, because I’m still bad at math!

Posted in 2026, Business, life

Reports and More Reports

Posted on by nancyb422

I handle the accounting and payroll for a company, which means governmental reports, and lots of them.

The quarterly ones are not so bad because at least I do them four times a year. However, there is usually a notification to change my password. 15 characters! One capital letter! One Number! One symbol but only #@& or *! You cannot use any part of your previous five passwords! Get the picture?

I can do the majority of quarterly reports through Quickbooks, but my state decided that SOME reports, you have to go through their website. Notice I said SOME.

But don’t worry, I have a checklist for every report with the website I need to process the report correctly. I’ve been doing this too long to not have step by step instructions!

Now, let’s talk about the annual reports. Once a year. I’m talking specifically about the ACA Proof of Health Insurance or 1065-B report. Wait, I stand corrected. Per the IRS it’s a “1065-B document”. This is something I have to do because we are a self-funded small business but I don’t have to do any of the “funding” like a typical self-funded group. I pay a flat monthly rate for each employee and based on the medical expenses for the year, sometimes I get money back after the year end, and sometimes I don’t. I’m fortunate that the majority of the work is done by my carrier to Mineral that sends on the reports to the IRS. I just print them and give them to my employees on the plan. The problem is, in the email Mineral sends to tell me about it, they don’t say, “go here, here and here”. No, I go to the website, to the ACA Hub, and am confronted with a list of “resources”. Do I need to upload my employees information to this excel spreadsheet? I thought I did….

After a short time of frustration, I called the Help Center. The person took all my information to pass me on to another person. That person was very helpful. “No, you don’t have to upload the information, you click here, instead of here (right next to the first “here”). I made her stay on the line until I was 95% completed. She showed me where the step by step instructions were (why wasn’t that in an email to ALL self-funded small businesses?). She told me I could take a training class and my reply was, “I do this once a year for six employees”. I was polite, I promise! Her parting words were, “all that will be left is closing out the tax year”. Hmmm, what does that mean? I go through the report, and there is “close out the tax year”. I click on it, click on finish, nothing, nothing, nothing. I go back through the step by step, oh, I have to wait until it’s accepted….

The report is done (notice I refuse to say “document), and I will have weekly notices to remind myself to go back into the report, and through the steps to get to the last bit to “close out the tax year”. I could have typed the information into a template six times, checked, printed them, and mailed them off to the IRS and my employees faster than it took me to do the report. I will print out that resource for next year.

The report isn’t due until somewhere around the end of February so I am grateful I didn’t wait until the last week to start the report!

Now, on to the 1099s and more of the same!

Posted in 2026, life

Bless the Caregivers

Posted on by nancyb422

I have caregivers on my mind after writing about my grandmother over on It’s All About Family.

While driving home from church yesterday (maybe it was because of church?), I said a prayer for the CT Transit bus driver waiting to take a right turn with his bus at a very annoying corner. There he was on a Sunday morning, probably already out for a few hours, and who knows how many more to go.

Today, I stopped at Walmart on my way home and I saw a young man hoisting a folder up wheelchair to put in the back of his car. I looked to the interior and there was an elderly man waiting for him. Grandfather? Paying customer? Later, when leaving the store an older woman was pushing a carriage with a toddler and telling her husband with a can in his carriage to wait and she’d get the car to pick him up. Was the young child her granddaughter?

These caregivers, people taking care of family members, neighbors, or even strangers have my deepest admiration. It is not easy.

Caregiving for my mother when I was 27 was short and there was no traveling involved. Years after that was caring for my dad. It was helpful that his primary care doctor was at the assisted living facility. He was in a wheelchair and it was easier to get him up into my SUV than it was to lower him into a car! After he passed away, I took on the grocery trips and doctor’s appointments for my aunt, my dad’s sister. That started when I got a call from the school she worked. She became ill and was being taken to the hospital and I was her emergency contact! All of that involved a change to my routine, fitting something in, taking time off from work, or having my family fend for themselves while I was caregiving.

I don’t say all that for any pats on the back but I’m realizing how important it is to have “people”.