“Money, Money, Money, always sunny, in the rich man’s world” – ABBA 1976
If/when you wake up in the middle of the night, what’s the first thing that pops into your mind?
Mine is MONEY. Why money you ask? Because I’m always paying bills. I have a payroll to process every week, bills for materials and other on-job expenses, bills for vehicle loans, and bills for overhead expenses like the phone service and anything else that keeps our doors open and lights on (electric bill!).
At 3:30 am, if my brain rises out of whatever phase of sleep nearest to awake, my mind says “do you have enough money?” and something inside gives my heart a little squeeze. If I’m too much awake, I’ll head to the bathroom for a change of scenery. Sometimes I can snuggle back into my pillow, say a little prayer of thanksgiving for my bed, my house, etc. and very soon, I’ve fallen back to sleep.
Do you have a particular thought that pops into your brain if you wake up in the middle of the night?
“I expect my mother’s fear of decimal currency was related to her dislike of math, which is a common fear often dating back to a cruel teacher.” – Cherry in Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty.
Oh, that hit me right in the memories!
I don’t think Sister Holly Jean my third grade teacher at Holy Trinity School was intentionally being mean. There were two math groups and two reading groups, and when you’ve already spent 2 years with the same kids, you know which is which.
I bounced back and forth between those two math groups throughout 3rd grade. Long division was my nemesis! Carrying the what because it’s not equal where? My mother brought home waste letter paper from work and filled them with division problems for me to solve.
I survived third grade math but I was never the same afterwards. Math just continued to beat me down year after year. Algebra, Geometry, even review math in 12th grade was a struggle.
Ironically, I really enjoyed Accounting in high school and college and handle the (Quick)books for our company.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
I have to work hard to brush away negative and worrying thoughts.
I’m learning to rely on faith.
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Nights when I wake up at 3am and the first thing that pops into my mind is something about work, I roll over and I pray. It pushes out the worry and negativity and I fall back to sleep.
During the day if I start to worry, I just talk to God and thank him for the day, the weather, my home, whatever!
Last Tuesday, our dog Wally passed away. I wrote about it on my family stories site.
Now when I come downstairs in the morning, there are no pee pads to check (and no floor surveillance!) and no breakfast to make.
Some days he’d be waiting for me and other days, he slept for a few more hours but my routine was always the same.
I continue to say “Good Morning” and “Good Night” in the direction of his bed(s) and when I come into the house I still peek around the door to see if he’s there.
I know someday that will stop, but for now, I keep his spirit alive.
I recently had my annual gynecologist appointment and it got me thinking….
I used Planned Parenthood in my early 20s when I had no idea where to go for my reproductive health.
My mother was still taking me and my sisters to our pediatrician in our teens and our last visit there was when we turned 18. I remember him telling my mother, “well, this will be the last time I see them.”After that, or even maybe even before, we probably should have started going to a gynecologist but no one ever initiated it. Not us, not my mother.
There was some risk involved being sexually active with no birth control and I got tired of taking that risk. But where do I go? I was not very good with talking about things I was uncomfortable with, or something that might get shot down or questioned. (I really don’t like to be questioned – if I finally speak up about something, I’ve usually made up my mind and I’m not looking for approval!).
Maybe someone where I work suggested it, maybe I found it on my own. But I found it and they were great. I got my annual checkups and my birth control there and it was affordable. I was glad they were there for me when I needed them.
As of 2022 there are more females than males in the United States. Every month once we hit puberty, we all (generalizing) go through the same thing. But yet, roadblocks are thrown up to prevent many women from getting the basic care they need. I was glad to read that Planned Parenthood has a presence in all 50 states. I think we need it more than ever.
When I think of a “shopping spree”, my thoughts go immediately to all that I don’t need! I don’t need clothes because my size is difficult to shop for and I get discouraged. I don’t need electronic equipment because I have more than I need. My brain no longer works on a “want basis”.
Things for my home! That’s it! I would buy a nice coffee bar, the sectional sofa for the family room that my husband and I have discussed over and over again, and …… hmm, as I look around, I think it would be a quick shopping spree!
I feel content with what I have. I would prefer to take someone else on a shopping spree and let them buy what they want. It would make me happy to do that.
I am curious which also translates to nosy. This is why once I start scrolling, I can’t stop. Facebook to Instagram to Threads. I hate Threads the most. It’s filled with complaining.
I deleted them all so many times off my devices during the election season. Then my fingers (and my brain) would itch to see what was going and I just had to reinstall them. And then delete them again.
They are unhealthy. But….
I have accounts for our business and I try to keep those full of content and comment on followers accounts.
I want positivity in my life. I don’t want negativity in my life.
One of my goals for 2025 was to “read less what other people and write more of what I want to say”.
Heading off to delete those apps off my IPad again….
In my quest to be mindful in 2025, I’m focusing on my emotional and mental wellbeing in addition to my physical wellbeing.
I know that sleep is important, and in our house it’s always been important to my husband! For most of our marriage, this man has gone to bed at 8pm and would get a good 8 hours of sleep. I would usually make it into bed by 10. Since the first, I’ve made an effort to head up by 9pm, get some reading in and have lights out by 9:30. I also started wearing my Apple Watch to bed so it can record the different stages of my sleep.
Another bedtime ritual I’ve started is a 5 or 10 sleep meditation with my Peloton app. I wear my ear buds, start the program and absorb the soothing music and soft voice of the instructor. I usually discover I’ve fallen asleep! My average sleep time for a week has ranged from 7 hours 15 minutes to 7 hours and 28 minutes. My crowning achievement was a night of sleep with NO minutes awake!
100%!
Because I don’t have a set time I need to be in the office, This year I’m learning to embrace that! It’s tough to get used to when for so many years, I’ve been at my desk by 8:30! My alarm is still set for 5:45 but I take time to drink my coffee and complete my workout. I have extra time to read the paper!
There are times at work that cause me and the two people there (one being my son) to start to wallow in frustration and self-pity. It’s specially tough to see it in my son, so I always try to turn it around and cheer us all on! We have so much more going for us than against us!
I’m packing up for the day and heading home at 3pm (to-do lists are vital for me!), so I can walk with my husband and our friends for some exercise and socialization.
I’m not on board with our upcoming federal administration so that has made me anxious when I read stories that seem more fiction than fact. For the time being, I’m averting my eyes because I know there is nothing I can do to change any of it. I hope in the near future I can get involved with an organization that will help make a difference for people in need.
All my life I’ve tracked the numbers on the scale and have a roller coaster relationship with food and my body. The January 1 entry in my first diary as a soon to be 10 year old says among other things, “I resolved will try to exercise every day”. I was 9 years and 8 months old.
Me – approximately 10 years old
Maybe it was because the 60s and 70s were full of the Twiggy models or maybe it was because in my brain, I was not petite, just short. I topped out at 4’11” in sixth grade, never to reach the ultimate next foot.
Over the years I’ve used tracking methods like Weight Watchers and Fitness Pal and worked out to the all the Jillian Michaels and The Firm Workouts in existence, and a couple of times over the last four years, I’ve worked with Jennifer, a nutritionist at Evolved Nutrition in Wallingford.
Working out, has never been an issue for me. I’m using my Peloton in one way or another for up to 45 minutes 6 days a week. But what do they say? Losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise…..
This January 1st, as the weight crept up from vacations and general not paying attention, I knew I had to get serious. Is it the impending 65th birthday around the corner? Probably! But more than that, I know, because I’ve done it, that when I lower my weight, I feel better. I have more energy, my arthritis doesn’t bother me (as much), my hip pain disappears. It’s a no-brainer. But sometimes so hard to just take that first step.
So, I’ve started up the Fitness Pal app and really started using it. I’m more aware of how I feel after each meal, what works and what doesn’t. I’m becoming more aware of how I feel emotionally. I’m drinking more tea, and doing more meditation.
I’m looking at the different strength workouts on Peloton to work on lighter weights and more toning, like Barre workouts instead of trying to life 20 pounds.
1,000 minutes on January 14th!
I achieved my first 1,000 minutes only 14 days into the new year! That’s because my husband and I and another couple in the neighborhood join up in the afternoon when we can to take a walk to the center of town and back. 2 miles, 46 minutes and a great break in the late afternoon. The first year I was in the challenge I completed 13,000+, and last year was 14,000+ so it’s my goal to hit the 15,000 this year.
Here’s to a Happy and Healthy 2025!
Hubs and I at the Shops at Hudson Yard in December 2024
I took a look at my Day Planner for 2024 and my phone calendar and made a list in Notes of What Happened in 2024. I was surprised at all the events from the year. Sometimes in my mind I think “I never do anything!”, but this proved me wrong. There were lunches and dinners out with friends, two trips to New York other than our yearly Christmas shopping spree, and three week long vacations!
I’m looking forward to this new year of adventures!
Thoughts From The Passenger Seat 