Posted in 2024, life, Memories, thoughts, Writing

Items Always With Me

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

I guess if I didn’t think they were “dear”, I wouldn’t wear these same four rings every day.

rings I wear every day

The thick band with the diamond – the band was my mother in law’s wedding band. We had a new diamond put in for our 30th wedding anniversary.

The thin band is my original wedding band.

The silver ring holds a Danburite crystal. I found it in an antique store in Sonora California while visiting my father in law in 2022. It was meant to be – I was getting ready to leave but decided to look at the jewelry and this stuck out. The crystal takes its name from Danbury Connecticut (I’m born and raised in Connecticut), and it fit perfectly!

The bottom ring is a worry band I bought while visiting with friends in Los Cabos Mexico. It was a splurge and I have worn it since early 2020.

I have a lot of other rings, but these 4 just feel so right together!

Posted in 2024, hobbies, leisure time, life, thoughts, Writing

What I Can’t Get Rid Of

Daily writing prompt
Do you have any collections?

I don’t have collections in the true sense of the word like Beanie Babies, salt and pepper shakers, or baseball cards.

My collections are:

My vast amount of family photos dating back to the late 1800s, and early 1900s on both parents’ sides of the family. Many formal portraits including families, first communions, and wedding parties. Informal photos are in photo albums and labeled with dates and locations!

My mother’s postcard collection. She had a big album with all the cards categorized by location. I hung onto it and finally took them out of the album. Someday I will write some stories about some of them.

My yarn, knitting needles, and knitting books. I have baskets of yarn and a slew of knitting books! I kept the yarns by weight in file cabinet drawers until I repurposed the file cabinet for my ancestry work. I was going to get rid of a lot of the yarn but never got around to it. I guess it’s time to put the yarn away again before any moths get to it!

Do books count? I have a lot of those and I keep buying more!

But if you’re thinking my house must be filled to the rafters, you’d be wrong! All of my “collections” are in a very large room over our garage that serves as our workout room in two-thirds of the room and my “she-space” in the remaining part. We’re lucky to have such a wonderful space!

Posted in 2024, life, relaxing, Writing

Brrrrrr

How do you feel about cold weather?

I am cold if it’s 90 degrees and a cloud passes over the sun.

I always wear a coat or sweater out the door in the morning and usually keep it on most of the day because the air conditioning is blowing on me, or if the heat is on it’s still not warm enough.

Does that give you an idea of how I feel about cold weather?

As long as I am prepared for it, I can be ok about it. But I will always turn off the ceiling fan when I sit in the living room to watch tv because it’s blowing on me!

Posted in 2024, family, life, Memories, Writing

Ruining My Sister’s Birthday

Have you ever broken a bone?

It was a sunny Saturday in September of 1972 and I was 12 years old.

My childhood (and current) home

One of my sisters and a friend or two were performing flips in the front year. We would start from the steps and head towards the flag pole.

I completed a few flips, but on the last attempt I ran, flipped, and landed on the top of my right foot. There was intense pain and I couldn’t walk. We all shouted for my mother. She came out and off the two of us went to the emergency room. We waited for a few hours for X-rays that confirmed I broke a little bone in the back of my ankle. I came home in a cast to my knee and crutches.

My diary entry!

It was a miserable 8 weeks. First with the crutches, and then with a “walking cast” which back then was a rubber block they attached to the bottom of the cast. In my case even with my highest heel on the other side, I was still lopsided, walking like Peg-Leg Pete! I would have been better off with crutches. What a relief it was when the cast finally came off but how weird my leg looked!

But I wasn’t the only one who suffered that weekend….

The incident happened on Saturday, September 9, 1972. My older sister’s 14th birthday and the family party was scheduled for the next day. My mother was in the process of baking her delicious 4 layer chocolate cake with whipped cream between layers and covered with chocolate frosting. She was likely making whatever meal we would be eating beforehand.

Aha! proof that I didn’t spoil the party, just “her day”!

She was pretty annoyed with me, but she did get to enjoy her party on Sunday! I was probably very happy I didn’t have to go to church!

Posted in 2024, leisure time, life, relaxing, Writing

Balancing Work and Home

How do you balance work and home life?

For the past 25 years, it has been a tightrope walk between work and home because my husband and I run a business together. Some of that balancing act involved the two of us but a lot of it, was my balancing.

Our remodeling company started in our basement, an unfinished, low ceiling space with a concrete floor and painted stone foundation walls. I faced crumbling painted walls at the bottom of the stairs and when my husband came home at 4 p.m. to start his estimates, he faced the oil tank.

Having a fledging business at home made both the work and home balance tough. Being home, I would realize there was laundry to do, or something needed cleaning, so I’d get immersed in that. On the weekends, I’d go to the basement to do/finish the laundry and remember a proposal to type or phone call to make and get caught up in that!

After the basement we moved the office to space above our newly built garage and then almost 20 years in, we purchased office space about 10 minutes away. Each step away, made the physical work/life balance easier. However, I found myself determined to put in as many hours a day as possible because once I left for the day, that was it. My husband put in his 7:30 to 4 and I would try to get in at 8 a.m. every day and usually stayed until 5 our shortly past. Now, mentally it was very taxing knowing there were things I was leaving behind but definitely couldn’t sneak into the office to take care of. I found myself bringing files home but letting them sit there and never touching them all weekend!

As far as my husband and I balancing business and home life together, we made a decision early on that work stayed at work. It hasn’t always been easy but if I was mad at “my boss”, I didn’t want to bring it home to my husband and vice versa! It was sort of weird and definitely an act of compartmentalizing but it has worked for us. After a few years, we also decided that our company wouldn’t physically work on the weekends or go to any estimating appointments. People found that strange but we told them, “everyone needs their weekend”.

My husband has now retired, but is still available when my son, who took his place, needs him. I am still working, but now that we have a very capable Client Manager and I have been able to pass all client work on to her, I am able to come in later, leave earlier and take some time off and I finally feel like there is a good and healthy balance for me both physically and mentally.

Posted in 2024, life, thoughts, Writing

I Can Lead and I Can Follow

Are you a leader or a follower?

I am very comfortable leading a conversation, a discussion, or directionally around a location.

For some people, it’s their tendency to take over because they were a leader in their profession. I admire people who don’t do that. I like watching everyone have the chance to lead if they want.

But if I’m leading people around a location and lose my sense of direction, I get flustered and someone else has to take over! This happened to me in Vienna Austria with friends we met on a river cruise. One of the men stepped in to help me because I had us hopelessly lost!

I am also able to follow in those situations. When I don’t know the subject well, I listen to what other people say. If someone knows exactly where we are headed, I say “Just tell me where to go!”

Posted in 2024, life, Memories, Writing

Fruity Favorites

First and my FAVORITE OF ALL TIME fruit is Watermelon! Just straight up – no salt, no salad – good plan old watermelon. If I let myself, I could eat a whole one, just slicing and slicing away at it.

Photo by Elaine Bernadine Castro on Pexels.com

2nd is Bananas. But they have to be “just right”. A little on the not-quite-ripe side is best. Just ripe is good too. Once they tip over towards too ripe, they get tossed into a bag and into the freezer for my smoothies!

Photo by Kio on Pexels.com

3rd is Grapes. Red, seedless at room temperature! I’m not picky about their firmness or ripeness because they are usually always good!

Photo by Bruno Scramgnon on Pexels.com

4th is Apples. My most favorite is Macoun followed by Empire but lately, apples at the store are such a crap shoot as to whether they are crisp or mushy! I usually cut them up and eat them with peanut butter!

Photo by Matheus Cenali on Pexels.com

5th is Strawberries. They were my ultimate favorite until I worked in strawberry fields in my late teens. We spent the spring, training the vines. During picking season we weighed the containers, worked the register, and also stood at the end of rows directing people where to go. I would wear a hoodie sweatshirt and fill the pocket with strawberries! By the end of the second season, I never wanted to see another strawberry for the rest of my life! But recently, I’ve come back around to enjoy them.

Photo by Ave Calvar Martinez on Pexels.com

All the talk of these fruits has made me hungry! There are apples at home right now, so I guess that’s what I’ll have today!

Posted in 2024, life, Memories, thoughts, Writing

Signs

Do you believe is signs from loved ones who have passed? I do!
May 2nd was our 37th anniversary of meeting. One of the words in the NYT Connections game was SOULMATES – it jumped out at me as soon as I opened the game.

May 1987


May 6th was our 36th wedding anniversary. What popped up in the Connections game? COUPLE and LOVERS.

March 2024


Coincidence? No, I think my mother is sending her love to the two people she set up to meet in 1987. I’ve told this story so many times, you might already know it….I was scheduled for a vacation on March 24th because she was sick and she died on April 4th. I ended up taking the trip on May 2nd and my future husband was a last minute addition to his friend’s trip. Through a medium I went to in 2013, she confirmed she set us up.

I wrote most of the above for my facebook page on Monday the 6th but I was thinking some more about that time and coincidences. You see just before I moved out to California, someone I worked with paid for me to hand a hand analysis with her sister. Although 37 years have gone by, I still had the cassette tape of the reading and a few years ago transcribed it. I think through it my mother was trying to give me motherly advice — and I did NOT listen to it. Literally, I did not listen to that tape again for 35 years. There was actually some advice I could have used. Oh well! They say the other side will give you signs but you have the free will to listen to it or not. Sorry Ma! I’m listening now!

Posted in life

Soulmates

On this day, 37 years ago, I looked across the room while waiting to present my passport at the Montego Bay airport, and saw the man I would marry a year later.

Literally, looked across the room and saw him greeting his friend who had come on a different flight and thought “ooh, isn’t he cute?”, followed by, “no, you brought a suitcase full of books (well, 2 books), because you are here to chill and revive yourself from mommy’s death.”

I walked outside to join my friend and saw her talking to him at the back of the truck that sells beer to thirsty 20-somethings on their way to the various Jamaica resorts.

We chatted, and parted, and when it came time to get on the buses, we hung back to see what bus he and his friends got on. And we got on that bus. Oh convenient there was a seat on the opposite side of the aisle one row up.

It became a day of chat and part and meet up and separate until us two and them three and another couple and three singles became a group of 10 for the week. We had so much fun.

I remember so clearly in my head saying “don’t be a downer”, “don’t lead with ‘my mother just died so that’s why I’m here’”; I remember him asking me the typical “how does someone like you not have a boyfriend”, and I didn’t go into the sob story of my last three-year long relationship that ended up messy watching him get engaged 2 months after we broke up.

We parted in the early morning when his bus left at 6 a.m. and mine, along with 5 others in our group, left a few hours later. Vowing to stay in touch, to call at the end of the next week, to send pictures once they were developed. Did I sob all the way home – no actually I didn’t. I had this unbelievable faith that this was not the end. Did it matter than he lived in California and I lived in Connecticut? No! It did not.

We talked after a week, then a weekly call became twice weekly, became every night, became first thing in his morning to last thing in my day.

We wrote letters – so many letters! Every day. Single sheets (from him) to 4 page novels (from me). I have every one of them except my first to him (I think that’s a little telling…). We talked about families and life and who we were and how we felt.

He came to visit the week of 4th of July and met my family and visited with friends and we decided, “Yes, I want to spend more time with you”.

I went to visit in mid-August and he asked me to marry him.

I proceeded to pack my belongings and mailed out boxes via UPS. No furniture, just clothes I didn’t currently need, and any of my treasures that were worth packing. I sold my car, and quit my job (oh, but I hated to leave the best job I ever had!), and the Saturday of Columbus Day weekend, I said goodbye to my dad and sister at the airport and boarded a plane.

Posted in 2024, Goals, life, thoughts

Balance in the Coming Year

It’s the end of my Birthday Month and my march towards 65. I don’t mean that in a bad way, more of a contemplative one.

My husband has retired and I can now find him most days out in his garden preparing for the season.

The garden area

I’m looking for balance in my work and home life. My three office responsibilities have been pared down to two thanks to our incredible Client Manager who has successfully taken over those reins (and it is sometimes like trying to rein in wild horses).

I have projects at home to work on – organizing 35,000 pictures on my devices, family stories or family history research.

Honestly, I enjoy what I do in the office. I feel like now I can organize and set up the business in the best way possible moving forward – and get that Succession Plan, aka “If Something Happens To Me” plan in place.

My goal is to consider Wednesdays and Fridays each week and schedule something, whether full day, half day, by myself, with my husband, or with a friend.

I see the possibility now whereas a year ago, I don’t think I saw it.

A little bit of this contemplation comes from the fact that my mother died the day before her 65th birthday. If you’ve been over to It’s All About Family you’ll know her story. It was 9 weeks sudden, but sudden enough so she never got to experience that retirement.

I think about what her and my dad’s life might have been like if she didn’t get sick and it makes me want to honor and appreciate each day.

An early morning on the Seine river 2022