Tag: death

Posted in 2025, life

Another Tuesday Funeral

Posted on by nancyb422

Yesterday, like last Tuesday, I went to a funeral. This was a much different one. This man was 17 days shy of his 89th birthday when he passed away, and he was surrounded by family who loved him and caregivers who had grown to love him over the time they’ve been with him and his wife in their home.

He was my sister’s father-in-law, and because my sister and her husband started dating in high school, fifty years ago, we have all known each other a very long time. The family has always included my family and me as part of their family.

His name was Marty, but he was also known as Lefty, and with the seven grandchildren, he was Pop. He enlisted in the Navy at 17 (he lied and said he was 18), met his future wife, married, and had three children. He was an embalmer for the family funeral home, owned a gas station at one point, and eventually settled on owning a boarding kennel in 1975, shortly after my sister and her husband started dating.

We would spend Sundays at the pool on the kennel property during summers in college, and again when our son was young. He would walk up from the house or the kennel to see what was going on. Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor Day were spent there with him and his wife, their kids, and grandkids. My dad was always included in the picnics and Sunday afternoons.

In the winter, they lived in Florida, and for the summer, they traveled to Connecticut. Several years ago, they started slowing down, so the condo was sold, and they moved north full-time.

Over the past few months, he declined quickly, and he passed away on Wednesday, December 10th.

There were calling hours and a service at the family funeral home where he worked, and he was interred with military honors at the cemetery in the family plot. His son-in-law and two granddaughters gave eulogies, and as they spoke, I remembered the man he was. He always had a smile on his face, was quick with a joke, loved to push people in the pool, and was happy to talk to you. He lived a long and full life. ❤️

Posted in 2023, family, Holidays, life, Memories, Writing

Carrying On Traditions

Posted on by nancyb422

How do you celebrate holidays?

Christmas with Grammy 1966 (me in the red/gray sweater, my twin in yellow, my older sister in the back with the scrunched up grin)

When someone says “Holidays”, I automatically think of Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. The Big Three!

Ever since I was born, Christmas and Easter were primarily celebrated with my mother’s side of the family. There was a rotation of where it would be held. I think up until 1967, it was held at the family home where my grandmother and oldest aunt lived. This picture was from our last Christmas with her and it includes me, my 2 sisters, and my second wave of cousins.

Thanksgiving was a low key holiday for us because there was usually a high school football game to go to! My relatives would be off with their “other side of the family” for the holiday.

My mother died when I was 27 and not yet married and my sisters were both married but no kids yet. Our first holiday without her was Easter of 1987, and my cousin hosted everyone. By Thanksgiving I had moved to California but I know without a doubt, my family back home continued the tradition of gathering, having a great meal, and exchanging presents. The following Christmas there were three babies so of course everyone gathered together. When we moved back to Connecticut in 1995, I was able to show my husband and son how my family celebrated growing up!

My house is our old family home and so it seems natural for us to host my mother’s side of the family. We do that every year in early December. My sister who lives in the same town always hosts Easter.

Thanksgiving has become the holiday that rotates between 3 different households!

Posted in friends, life

Life and Death

Posted on by nancyb422

I’m spending the early part of this day grocery shopping, paying bills, and puttering around as I wait for 3pm to get changed to head on over to a wake and funeral service for a friend who died on Monday from heart-related complications from Covid. She was 48 years old, wife, mother of a 17 year old and 12 year old.

I met her in 1997 when she came to work at the insurance brokerage I worked at and it was maybe her second job after graduating college. She sat right across the small aisle from me and was always asking questions, sometimes the same over and over. I know that annoyed me but I also know we talked and laughed a lot! She was 14 years younger than me and would come with me to my son’s second and third-grade concerts that were held during the school day.

After I left, we lost touch. I then discovered she and her husband bought a house in the same town I was in less than a 1/2 mile from mine! We reconnected again and after her youngest child was in pre-school, she came to work for us. It was another case of a lot of talking, and not always a lot of work getting done! But I really enjoyed her company and I felt like I was the older voice she sometimes needed to hear (not that she ever took my advice!).

But eventually, we needed full-time help and she couldn’t give me that so we had to part ways. It was probably best for her because she got a job in the school system and was able to have summers and vacation time off to be with her kids.

We didn’t stay in touch very much. We were Facebook friends but that is pretty superficial. I know she was happy at the school as a paraprofessional for kindergarten and she was planning on getting her masters in special education. She loved her family so much and would do anything for her kids.

I was alerted to her death on Monday evening because a few of my friends are also in the school system. When the system-wide email went out, one friend checked and saw I was friends with her and messaged me. I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind since.

It’s not that I haven’t had friends or relatives die at a young age, but I don’t think I’ve experienced this suddenness before and it’s unsettling. It seems ridiculous to even think “oh she’s looking over them now” because she should be HERE with them. I have no words for comfort. I just keep praying for her husband and children, her mother and brother, and her best friend who has been a constant presence in her and her family’s lives. That’s all I can do.