family – Thoughts From The Passenger Seat

2026, family

Finding Your Relatives

Posted on August 8, 2026August 8, 2026 by nancyb422

*My mother (front left) and family about mid-1942*

I follow a few other ancestry writers and one of them, Trisha, introduced me to a great show on BYU TV called “Relative Race”.

Four teams, in cars, start out from the same location in different directions with an individual time allotted that includes a challenge once they get to the town of their relative.

Using only paper maps from one location to the next, their clock stops when they get to the home of their relative.

They introduce themselves, and ask “whose relative are you?” On some teams, it might be only one person searching for relatives, on other teams, both.

They meet and visit with their relatives, and it looks to me like on some occasions they meet the relative at an Airbnb set up by production.

That night, the teams get on a Group FaceTime type chat, Dan the host comes on and he will announce the winner for the day. They are the team that came closest to their allotted time. The loser is the one who took the longest. If they are last for the day, they get a strike. 3 strikes and you’re out. Goodbye, go home (although they still got to meet the relatives just not on camera). Season 16, appears to be different and the team with 3 strikes still travels, but maybe they just don’t get a chance for the $10,000 prize at the end when they do the big, final challenge. I’m at that episode now!

Did I mention, they give up their phones and only have flip phones? Yes! They can text each other, which on occasion they do. Dan texts them in the morning with their next destination, welcomes them when they arrive to the town with their challenge location, and when that’s complete gives them the relative’s location.

The race is run primarily on the East Coast. But one season had them all over the United States and then flew the people who ended up in California back to the final location. This season they started in Alabama. One team has gone to Louisiana and Texas, another upper Florida and Georgia, another North Carolina, to Maryland, and Pennsylvania, and another to North Carolina, West Virginia, Ohio, and Indiana.

The teams themselves and the family they are seeking tugs at my heart strings. It isn’t run-of-the-mill relatives they are looking for, it is FAMILY. The majority were adopted at birth or a very young age. Some knew they were adopted, some only found out a few years ago. You hear their stories at the beginning of the season and again throughout the season but not to excess.

Maybe I enjoy this show because we found out my mother had a different father than her siblings! She had passed away years before we found out, but it made me wonder if there were differences in looks and personality that made anyone go “hmmm”.

Obviously, DNA testing is done prior to all this and family members contacted to see if they would be willing to meet with the contestant. Once they are selected, I’m sure they are situated for maximum show drama impact!

In earlier seasons, teams weren’t always very nice to each other. A team each season would really be looking to get the edge on everyone else. Sometimes the daily winners get to put a time penalty on another team and they would target a team to ensure a strike. but every season the show evolves and those types of “rewards” have gone by the wayside.

You can find BYU TV in your streaming channels if you have a Smart TV or you can watch episodes on YouTube through the Relative Race channel.

If you love heartwarming family reunions with a little suspense thrown in, you will enjoy this show!

Here’s a link to Trisha’s blog post about her love for the show!

Have you ever watched it and if so, did you enjoy it?

2026, Memories

A look Back at 36

Posted on July 18, 2026 by nancyb422

Yesterday was my son’s 36th birthday. It feels so momentous to have a child that old. Of course it makes me think back to what I was doing when I was 36.

I was raising a 6 year old who had just finished up kindergarten. I was working a job I hated, at a company I loved. We had passed the one year anniversary of our move from California back to purchase my childhood home in Connecticut. My father lived with us for five years after that. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer that April and in the next month, my husband would travel back to California to visit her one last time.

My son was loving life in 1996, oblivious, I hope, to the turmoil around him. He was spending days at the YMCA camp along with after camp care until one of us picked him up. He spent some Fridays with a friend’s family at a favorite Rhode Island beach. Most weekends were spent at my sister’s in-law’s pool with the rest of his cousins by marriage.

It was a time of trying to make everyone happy. Appease everyone. Get to work, don’t fuck up, don’t get sick because then someone had to do my job. Make sure no one felt slighted or offended by any choices I made. I didn’t have that living in California, but I had it in aces here.

It did smooth out and get better. I left that job and found another closer to home with better hours, and better pay. I adjusted to life in the family fold while creating my own life with my own family.

That’s a look at my summer at 36.

*My wildflower garden outside my back door*

2026, Writing

The Family Stories

Posted on May 21, 2026May 21, 2026 by nancyb422

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Legacy: anything handed down from the past.

I became my family’s historian in the early 2000s while sitting with my aunt and the family portraits, listening to her stories of the people in them. They were her legacy to me.

For the past 25 years, I’ve collected information, discovered new family members and brought my ancestors to life. I discovered facts that may never have been uncovered without DNA and research.

I created a blog and have written about their lives, loves and losses, accomplishments and failures for ten years.

One hundred and thirty posts on people, places, occupations, and stories collected from when they were alive to share them with me.

This will be my legacy, sharing the voices of the past with future generations.

2026, Writing

Validation

Posted on May 20, 2026 by nancyb422

If you saw my story from yesterday (probably not, I can’t seem to get any traction here LOL), I talked about whether I should go to an event with a medium last night because I was recovering from bronchitis and have this icky cough. My husband said “No”, but my Tea Party chairperson, a former infectious disease person, said, “go, you’re not contagious”, so off I went loaded with cough drops and water.

The woman is pretty popular here in New England and aside from John Edwards in the mid-90s in a ballroom space in Providence, Rhode Island, I’d never been to a group type medium event like this. This one had about 40 people. I went with an open mind, more for the experience because I have my own one on one medium connection. I took a seat that had a good view of the whole room so I wouldn’t have to turn around at all.

She explained her process and away she went. She immediately headed in my direction but stopped next to me where two sisters were sitting and she went on for a while, never moving in my direction.

After moving to a side table, she focused on the table in front of me with 10 people who had come together in small groups, and that went on for awhile.

I recognized some things she threw out, but other people were so quick to jump on them that I really didn’t feel like being that person to continually raise my hand. Just here for the experience remember?

And then I received the message that was for me and me alone. She was in the front of the room and she said, “Rocky”.

I raised my hand and said, “That’s my husband’s nickname.” She looked at me as asked “are you writing a book? I’m being shown you as a writer.” I responded, “I write stories about my ancestors and family.” She moved on from that but it was all I needed. Who was it? I don’t know, but the validation that they know I’m writing to share their stories was enough for me.

2026, What We Keep

Brown Scapular

Posted on April 18, 2026 by nancyb422

This brown scapular was part of my parents’ belongings. I knew what it was but never looked into its origins until recently. Now that I’m settled back into my catholic religion, I found it interesting.

When I googled “Scapular”, this brown scapular came up immediately, as it is the most common form and is called the Scapular of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. One patch shows Our Lady of Mount Carmel, and the other shows St. Simon Stock. It’s also most likely the oldest.

I found this information from a website called Catholic Company:

Simon Stock was part of the Carmelite order and in 1251, on July 15th, Mary the Virgin Mother appeared to him with a scapular in hand and told him, among other things, that “whoever dies in this garment, will not suffer everlasting fire.” This Carmelite Order originated in the late 12th or early 13th century on Mount Carmel, Palestine where European hermits gathered near the “spring of Elijah” to live a contemplative life. They fled Europe in 1238 because of Saracen invasions but then in the mid 1400s they moved back shifting from hermits to friars. They became known as the Brothers of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

Originally, a scapular was, and still is, a piece of clothing that someone in a religious order puts over their habit. That’s called a Monastic Scapular. These smaller scapulars are called Devotional but the principle is still the same, it’s worn over the shoulders. That is where “scapular” comes from – scapula.

Another part of the brown scapular is something called the “Sabbatine privilege” which states that Mary will intercede and pray for those in Purgatory who in early life wear the brown scapular in good faith. If you wear one, it should be blessed by a priest. I don’t intend to wear this, but will know what it is, and its significance now.

Brown is not the only color, but the only one I’ve every seen. A green scapular is the Scapular of Conversion and was created in 1840. It carries promises of strengthening faith, protection against Satan, a happy death for Catholics and especially for the conversion of those outside the church.

A red scapular is the Scapular of the Passion and it originated from an apparition in 1846 to a Sister of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul. Jesus revealed to her a scapular and promised to all who wear it that on every Friday he would grant an increase of faith, hope and charity. Interesting!

A blue scapular is the Scapular of the Immaculate Conception. The Venerable Ursula Benicasa, founders of the Order of Theatine Nuns (born around 1550 and died in 1618), had the blue scapular revealed to her by Jesus in a vision as a means to honor the Immaculate Conception.

There are others – Scapular of the Most Sacred Heat of Jesus, Scapular of Our Lady of Ransom, Scapular of St. Michael the Archangel, Scapular of St. Joseph, and Five-Fold Scapular.

There is even a scapular medal that a person invested in the brown scapular can wear instead. It can replace multiple scapulars but it has to be blessed with each individual blessing of the various scapulars. Whew. Have you ever heard the word “scapular” so many times in your life? The medal must consist of the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus on one side and a presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, usually Our Lady of Mt. Carmel on the other side.

Fun geographical fact – there is a neighborhood, or village, in a nearby town called Mount Carmel and it is the site of the first meeting house for the town of Hamden. It was named due to the resemblance of a range of hills nearby to the Mount Carmel mentioned in the bible.

Those hills go by another more familiar name for us locals, Sleeping Giant. It’s a state park here in Connecticut that looks like a giant laying down.

It’s like I was meant to learn about this brown scapular.

Have you ever seen one or had one? Let me know in the comments.

2026, life

My Easter Sunday

Posted on April 6, 2026 by nancyb422

It was a wonderful day that started off with 7:30 am mass. It was packed! The altar was beautiful with forsythia surrounded by hydrangeas of blue and pink. Two of my favorites.

Father Lane served mass, and he’s a favorite of mine. We were sprinkled with holy water and surrounded by incense during the service. Yes, it’s been a long time since I experienced an Easter morning at church and I’m grateful to be back.

After I got home, I had breakfast and a second cup of coffee both tiding me over until the Easter feast at my sister’s house. Small crowd – 17 people – with enough food for 30.

We stick with the Polish traditions of kielbasa, ham, pierogis, hard rolls, rye bread, and babka, and there is something for everyone! There are plenty of desserts like Hungarian cookies and little cherry cheesecakes. Everyone goes home with leftovers!

It’s a mix of parents and children and one grandchild and as various types of in-laws we’ve known each other for over 40 years and have become good friends as well as family.

We left for home with our care package of food. The women’s basketball final between South Carolina and UCLA was on so we changed into our comfy clothes, and settled in with some leftovers. We were happy with the outcome of the game.

Another Easter in the books!

2026, Memories

The Week of Anniversaries

Posted on March 28, 2026March 28, 2026 by nancyb422

My mother died on April 4, 1987 from brain cancer. It was an eight week blur from the hospital for tests on Day 1 to her death at home.

22 years, 11 months and 24 days later, a total of 8,394 days, my father died on March 28, 2010 of a heart attack.

In the years in between, he retired, played a lot of golf, had a small picture framing business in the basement, and got to meet and enjoy his five grandchildren.

But in the last 12 years of his life, he slowly declined. A knee replacement slowed him down, triple bypass, peripheral arterial disease took his left leg, but he kept moving along in his scooter at his assisted living facility. Until a heart attack, “an angel’s kiss”, sent him on his way to heaven.

My theory is, my mother was waiting for him all these years, but he didn’t want to leave his girls. He lost his mother when he was three, and his father just before his 11th birthday. Even though we were in our early 50s, I think he just didn’t want to leave. Finally she said, “it’s time, they’re all fine”.

Every year, this week brings up the memories of how much we loved them and miss them.

*Betty and John – Rocky Neck Beach – early 1950s*

2026, Writing

My First Story

Posted on February 27, 2026February 27, 2026 by nancyb422

I was the first to read my story aloud in my writers’ guild session.

I was never one to do that, take the leap, stand in judgement first. I would do all I could to avoid the eye of the teacher, or anyone, just hoping someone else would go first and break the ice.

Something has changed within me (no, I’m not Glinda or Elphaba!) and I am no longer reluctant. I want to share what I have written, or share my thoughts. This was not the first time I offered to go first either. I was in a journaling class and the teacher asked if anyone wanted to read. People were silent, so I said I would.

What I find is, if I go, I don’t have to spend my time worrying as I wait to go! It just takes all the agony out of it and also makes others comfortable that someone else broke the ice.

My piece got good reviews, the class had good feelings about what I wrote. They did suggest more information on the home, and descriptive information. Someone said “show don’t tell”, which I can agree with but the limit was 500 words and I was already pushing 480 with what I had! I appreciate their thoughts and will work on that in my next piece.

Some of the stories were a family’s trip to watch their son graduated from Marine bootcamp, a scene from a screenplay being written, a fantasy dungeons and dragons type story, an article on creativity, and a poem that this young lady wrote on writers block that was amazing and she wrote it that afternoon!

It is an interesting program, just one evening a month, but it makes me think in terms of what I’m writing and have I provided enough to bring a reader into the story.

The following is my story from class. I would call it “historical fiction” as it’s the true story of my grandmother with imagination thrown in.

On that April morning in 1927, Antonia knew something was not quite right. Five months pregnant with her 6^th child, she knew how she was supposed to feel and this wasn’t it.

She lay in bed and her thoughts drifted back to the day she arrived in America 17 years ago. She had just spent 9 days on a ship from Bremen Germany but didn’t give it a thought. She was just so excited to see her sister Aniela, her brother-in-law Josef, and their four children. The next part of her trip would be a train ride from New York to Springfield Massachusetts and then the local train to Palmer where Josef would be waiting for her at the station. “Oj,” she thought, coming back to present day, “time enough for daydreaming later, I need to get ready for the day.”

Out of bed, she roused her husband and children. Charles was still working this week at least. Ever since returning from France at the end of the war, he hadn’t been the same and she missed him. He survived the trenches, but the head wound from a train accident on the way to the coast almost killed him. The nasty scar was on the outside, but she wondered what happened to his brain on the inside.

After breakfast, Charles went off to work, and Steven, Helen, and Walter went off to school. That left John, her 3-year-old home but the way she felt, she asked Eddie if he could stay home too. At 12, Eddie was more than happy to stay home! She went about her morning chores, while Eddie kept John occupied.

By early afternoon, the pain in her belly was increasing. “Eddie! Run and get the midwife to come here. Then head to the factory and get your father!” Eddie jumped up and ran out the door. “Come Johnny, let’s get you to bed for your nap”. She nudged her son along to the bedroom and got him settled in bed and oh how she wanted to climb in next to him!

The midwife arrived, looked at her, and knew they needed to go to the hospital. A few minutes later, Eddie and Charles arrived. “We’re off to the hospital; She’ll be fine once we get a doctor to look at her.” Antonia kissed her husband and son and reminded them that the other children would be home soon. “Tell them I love them and I love you too.” She could see the worry in their faces as she left.

Charles got the children fed and then headed to the hospital that evening. Antonia was lying in bed, looking pale and tired. “I’m ok, I’m ok! Maybe I just need a little rest.” Give my babies a kiss and I’ll see you all tomorrow.” He gave her a kiss and left, not knowing it would be the last time he saw her.

What do you think? Did I draw you in to her story? If you’re interested in reading about my family, you can find it at It’s All About Family.

2026, life

Bless the Caregivers

Posted on January 20, 2026January 19, 2026 by nancyb422

I have caregivers on my mind after writing about my grandmother over on It’s All About Family.

While driving home from church yesterday (maybe it was because of church?), I said a prayer for the CT Transit bus driver waiting to take a right turn with his bus at a very annoying corner. There he was on a Sunday morning, probably already out for a few hours, and who knows how many more to go.

Today, I stopped at Walmart on my way home and I saw a young man hoisting a folder up wheelchair to put in the back of his car. I looked to the interior and there was an elderly man waiting for him. Grandfather? Paying customer? Later, when leaving the store an older woman was pushing a carriage with a toddler and telling her husband with a can in his carriage to wait and she’d get the car to pick him up. Was the young child her granddaughter?

These caregivers, people taking care of family members, neighbors, or even strangers have my deepest admiration. It is not easy.

Caregiving for my mother when I was 27 was short and there was no traveling involved. Years after that was caring for my dad. It was helpful that his primary care doctor was at the assisted living facility. He was in a wheelchair and it was easier to get him up into my SUV than it was to lower him into a car! After he passed away, I took on the grocery trips and doctor’s appointments for my aunt, my dad’s sister. That started when I got a call from the school she worked. She became ill and was being taken to the hospital and I was her emergency contact! All of that involved a change to my routine, fitting something in, taking time off from work, or having my family fend for themselves while I was caregiving.

I don’t say all that for any pats on the back but I’m realizing how important it is to have “people”.

2026, Healthy Living, life

My Word for 2026

Posted on January 3, 2026 by nancyb422

Engage….

….with people, events, my faith, and dare I say, social media for our business.

More on that word later. Right now I’m heading off to “float” with my daughter in law. Hmm, engaging in something new with someone I’ve really been getting to know much better in 2025.