I’m on vacation this week which I’ve told you about in previous posts.
So why not share a picture from today!
We had our friends over for a day on the boat and lunch in Wolfeboro. It was still very warm after they left so we went back out to anchor somewhere and spend some time reading.
The smoke from the Canadian fires made the skies very hazy and strange!
How do you express your gratitude?
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Those are two ways I usually express my gratitude for something someone has done for me or said to me.
I think sometimes, for me, I don’t slow down or stop to think about thanking the people who are around me all the time. Family, co-workers. I am go, go, go in the office and expect people to do the same!
I need to stop and reflect what someone does that makes me feel good or happy or satisfied the way something was done. Not just for something they say to me or do for me.
The words will be the same, but for different reasons.
How do you balance work and home life?
For the past 25 years, it has been a tightrope walk between work and home because my husband and I run a business together. Some of that balancing act involved the two of us but a lot of it, was my balancing.
Our remodeling company started in our basement, an unfinished, low ceiling space with a concrete floor and painted stone foundation walls. I faced crumbling painted walls at the bottom of the stairs and when my husband came home at 4 p.m. to start his estimates, he faced the oil tank.
Having a fledging business at home made both the work and home balance tough. Being home, I would realize there was laundry to do, or something needed cleaning, so I’d get immersed in that. On the weekends, I’d go to the basement to do/finish the laundry and remember a proposal to type or phone call to make and get caught up in that!
After the basement we moved the office to space above our newly built garage and then almost 20 years in, we purchased office space about 10 minutes away. Each step away, made the physical work/life balance easier. However, I found myself determined to put in as many hours a day as possible because once I left for the day, that was it. My husband put in his 7:30 to 4 and I would try to get in at 8 a.m. every day and usually stayed until 5 our shortly past. Now, mentally it was very taxing knowing there were things I was leaving behind but definitely couldn’t sneak into the office to take care of. I found myself bringing files home but letting them sit there and never touching them all weekend!
As far as my husband and I balancing business and home life together, we made a decision early on that work stayed at work. It hasn’t always been easy but if I was mad at “my boss”, I didn’t want to bring it home to my husband and vice versa! It was sort of weird and definitely an act of compartmentalizing but it has worked for us. After a few years, we also decided that our company wouldn’t physically work on the weekends or go to any estimating appointments. People found that strange but we told them, “everyone needs their weekend”.
My husband has now retired, but is still available when my son, who took his place, needs him. I am still working, but now that we have a very capable Client Manager and I have been able to pass all client work on to her, I am able to come in later, leave earlier and take some time off and I finally feel like there is a good and healthy balance for me both physically and mentally.
It’s the end of my Birthday Month and my march towards 65. I don’t mean that in a bad way, more of a contemplative one.
My husband has retired and I can now find him most days out in his garden preparing for the season.
I’m looking for balance in my work and home life. My three office responsibilities have been pared down to two thanks to our incredible Client Manager who has successfully taken over those reins (and it is sometimes like trying to rein in wild horses).
I have projects at home to work on – organizing 35,000 pictures on my devices, family stories or family history research.
Honestly, I enjoy what I do in the office. I feel like now I can organize and set up the business in the best way possible moving forward – and get that Succession Plan, aka “If Something Happens To Me” plan in place.
My goal is to consider Wednesdays and Fridays each week and schedule something, whether full day, half day, by myself, with my husband, or with a friend.
I see the possibility now whereas a year ago, I don’t think I saw it.
A little bit of this contemplation comes from the fact that my mother died the day before her 65th birthday. If you’ve been over to It’s All About Family you’ll know her story. It was 9 weeks sudden, but sudden enough so she never got to experience that retirement.
I think about what her and my dad’s life might have been like if she didn’t get sick and it makes me want to honor and appreciate each day.
I finally got around to reading one of my Real Simple magazines that have been piling up. It was the September 2022 issue. I got halfway through and then it ended up under my instructions for a scarf I’m knitting. I decided to finish it because nothing gets thrown out until I’ve at least glanced through it. And that’s when I found this article…. How to Be Less Busy by Catherine Hong stopped me dead in my tracks.
She started out talking about The Phantom Tollbooth’s Terrible Trivium, who was a “demon of petty tasks and worthless jobs, ogre of wasted effort, and monster of habit”. “if you only do the easy and useless jobs, you’ll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult”.
Wow, that is me! When I’m at the office, I always gravitate to the routine, the easy, the things I can do with my eyes closed. “Must get these done FIRST before I can move on to what I REALLY want to do”, I say to myself. “All of this is much more important than those out-of-the-ordinary projects on my list!”
When I’m at home, I’m always tidying up, always organizing (not cleaning!). On weekends I think I have to get everything done before I relax but when I do relax I pop up like a jack in the box because it feels wrong to sit and relax.
Well, what’s the answer? She has eight suggestions. The first is: “examine the root of your devotion to productivity”.
From the article: “Was your relationship with your parents transactional with their love, attention, or rewards doled out based on your performance rather than your inherent worth? Deep down do you think breaks are for wimps and whiners who aren’t as tough as you? Do you think you haven’t earned the right to take a break? Life experience, culture, and families can instill the desire to overachieve. If we understand where the “toxic productivity” comes from, and create a new story for ourselves where we deserve love and rest, it can help us carve out time for ourselves, unapologetically.”
That is A LOT to unpack! I feel some truth to the transactional relationship, not because they were cold or unfeeling parents, but because I was one of three girls all aged within 18 months of each other. There was the older sister, middle sister, and younger sister. Perhaps our best performances did receive the rewards. I was told by my mother when she came through in a medium reading that “You were always like that”. “That” would be my need to keep everyone and everything under control.
The second suggestion is: “Accept that your to-do list will never be done”. THIS IS ME! My to-do list comes and goes but that In Box? I will get a burst of energy at 4:15pm on Friday afternoon and I am just absolutely determined to clear my inbox before I can walk out that door! I get this ridiculous pit in my stomach while I’m trying to get the work done and out. Block out some time for to-dos and some time for leisure. For my office problem, I think it would be to block out time for to-dos and time for those “special projects” I want to get to but am “too busy” to do!
I’m going to work on those two suggestions but will come back and share some of the remaining suggestions.
Thoughts From The Passenger Seat 