Posted in 2024, leisure time, life, relaxing, Writing

Balancing Work and Home

How do you balance work and home life?

For the past 25 years, it has been a tightrope walk between work and home because my husband and I run a business together. Some of that balancing act involved the two of us but a lot of it, was my balancing.

Our remodeling company started in our basement, an unfinished, low ceiling space with a concrete floor and painted stone foundation walls. I faced crumbling painted walls at the bottom of the stairs and when my husband came home at 4 p.m. to start his estimates, he faced the oil tank.

Having a fledging business at home made both the work and home balance tough. Being home, I would realize there was laundry to do, or something needed cleaning, so I’d get immersed in that. On the weekends, I’d go to the basement to do/finish the laundry and remember a proposal to type or phone call to make and get caught up in that!

After the basement we moved the office to space above our newly built garage and then almost 20 years in, we purchased office space about 10 minutes away. Each step away, made the physical work/life balance easier. However, I found myself determined to put in as many hours a day as possible because once I left for the day, that was it. My husband put in his 7:30 to 4 and I would try to get in at 8 a.m. every day and usually stayed until 5 our shortly past. Now, mentally it was very taxing knowing there were things I was leaving behind but definitely couldn’t sneak into the office to take care of. I found myself bringing files home but letting them sit there and never touching them all weekend!

As far as my husband and I balancing business and home life together, we made a decision early on that work stayed at work. It hasn’t always been easy but if I was mad at “my boss”, I didn’t want to bring it home to my husband and vice versa! It was sort of weird and definitely an act of compartmentalizing but it has worked for us. After a few years, we also decided that our company wouldn’t physically work on the weekends or go to any estimating appointments. People found that strange but we told them, “everyone needs their weekend”.

My husband has now retired, but is still available when my son, who took his place, needs him. I am still working, but now that we have a very capable Client Manager and I have been able to pass all client work on to her, I am able to come in later, leave earlier and take some time off and I finally feel like there is a good and healthy balance for me both physically and mentally.

Posted in 2024, life, Memories, thoughts, Writing

Signs

Do you believe is signs from loved ones who have passed? I do!
May 2nd was our 37th anniversary of meeting. One of the words in the NYT Connections game was SOULMATES – it jumped out at me as soon as I opened the game.

May 1987


May 6th was our 36th wedding anniversary. What popped up in the Connections game? COUPLE and LOVERS.

March 2024


Coincidence? No, I think my mother is sending her love to the two people she set up to meet in 1987. I’ve told this story so many times, you might already know it….I was scheduled for a vacation on March 24th because she was sick and she died on April 4th. I ended up taking the trip on May 2nd and my future husband was a last minute addition to his friend’s trip. Through a medium I went to in 2013, she confirmed she set us up.

I wrote most of the above for my facebook page on Monday the 6th but I was thinking some more about that time and coincidences. You see just before I moved out to California, someone I worked with paid for me to hand a hand analysis with her sister. Although 37 years have gone by, I still had the cassette tape of the reading and a few years ago transcribed it. I think through it my mother was trying to give me motherly advice — and I did NOT listen to it. Literally, I did not listen to that tape again for 35 years. There was actually some advice I could have used. Oh well! They say the other side will give you signs but you have the free will to listen to it or not. Sorry Ma! I’m listening now!

Posted in 2024, Goals, life, thoughts

Balance in the Coming Year

It’s the end of my Birthday Month and my march towards 65. I don’t mean that in a bad way, more of a contemplative one.

My husband has retired and I can now find him most days out in his garden preparing for the season.

The garden area

I’m looking for balance in my work and home life. My three office responsibilities have been pared down to two thanks to our incredible Client Manager who has successfully taken over those reins (and it is sometimes like trying to rein in wild horses).

I have projects at home to work on – organizing 35,000 pictures on my devices, family stories or family history research.

Honestly, I enjoy what I do in the office. I feel like now I can organize and set up the business in the best way possible moving forward – and get that Succession Plan, aka “If Something Happens To Me” plan in place.

My goal is to consider Wednesdays and Fridays each week and schedule something, whether full day, half day, by myself, with my husband, or with a friend.

I see the possibility now whereas a year ago, I don’t think I saw it.

A little bit of this contemplation comes from the fact that my mother died the day before her 65th birthday. If you’ve been over to It’s All About Family you’ll know her story. It was 9 weeks sudden, but sudden enough so she never got to experience that retirement.

I think about what her and my dad’s life might have been like if she didn’t get sick and it makes me want to honor and appreciate each day.

An early morning on the Seine river 2022
Posted in 2024, life, thoughts, Writing

Noises in the Night

I started wearing ear plugs one summer when the sound of the air conditioner started me crazy. I kept it up in the winter and it’s a hard habit to break.

It makes me feel like I’m underwater because any sounds are muted and since I burrow under the covers (until I fling them off in a sweaty mess) it’s like I’m in a world of my own. There in lies the problem.

What if something happens and I don’t hear it? My phone gets an emergency call? My husband stumbles on the way to the bathroom? The smoke alarm goes off??

I’m debating giving them up and and hoping I get used to the night sounds again.

Do you wear ear plugs at night? Tell me if there are other options!

Posted in 2024, life, thoughts, Writing

I’m Just Too Honest

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

As I was putting my groceries in my car in the Walmart parking lot, I found a makeup item that was stuck at the bottom of my cart. Oh no! I accidentally shop lifted something!

I believe in Karma so after getting everything in the car, I went back into Walmart, explained the situation to the front person and went to the self-checkout and checked the item out.

If I didn’t, every time I used it, I’d feel haunted.

What about you?

Posted in 2024, family, life, Memories

Heading Towards the Unexpected

What were your parents doing at your age?

I’m turning 64 this year. My parents are 2 years apart, so we’ll just use the same age range.

My mother was working for a nice local construction company where she had worked for many years. They were good to her. She got the job because she was good at what she did and they were our neighbors so they knew they could trust her. Outside of work, she spent a lot of time reading and she enjoyed going to tag sales on Saturdays with her sister in law Edna.

My dad was working for a local rehabilitation hospital in their Facilities Department as their painter/wall paperer which was his profession since he got out of the army in 1946. He really enjoyed working there because of all the people he got to see and my sister worked in the Occupational Therapy Department. He started golfing again when my sisters and I were in high school so he probably golfed sometime during the week and maybe weekends – I don’t really recall!

This was also the time that my mother had a ticking time bomb in her brain called a Glioblastoma Multiform weaving its way through the areas of her brain. Little did they know how different life would be towards the end of that 64th year.

Posted in 2024, family, life

Have You Sent XYZ to ABC Yet??

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

I’m the worst when it comes to doing this for my husband. It always starts with the famous last words, “Oh honey I’ll take care of it!” In this case, it is photos I scanned to send to a friend.

3 weeks later… “No, I haven’t printed them yet. but I will.”

5 weeks later… “Oh! They came out really weird on the printer, so I sent them to Snapfish and I’ll pick them up at Walgreens”

7 weeks later… Picking them up at Walgreens. “Sorry not here! Do you have the email? Uh, this says CVS”. Oh crap .

9 weeks later… “I picked them up! I’ll send them out!”

12 weeks later… “uh, no I haven’t sent them out. In fact, I can’t remember where I put the ones I picked up.”

He says today, “I should have done it myself.” “Yes, maybe you should have”, I replied.

I could have shown him how to select, how to order, either pickup or have Snapfish send them directly to his house and moved on to something else on my To-Do List that never gets done!

Posted in 2024, life, thoughts, Writing

Keep the Good – Reverse the Bad

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

There are so many Good/Bad inventions created since the beginning of time but the number one “invention” that should crawl back into the hole it came from is –

SOCIAL MEDIA

MySpace, FaceBook, Twitter/X, Instagram, TikTok – maybe they were created for socialization but they took a right turn into online bullying, scams, hacking, and keyboard assassinations. There are many other sites for socializing, some I know of, some I’d probably be shocked to learn about, but I’m only talking of the ones I really know.

It was probably “ok” and “manageable” prior to the 2016 election, but after that, all bets were off. I allowed myself to get caught up in Facebook arguments with friends who became non-friends. Funny, after 2020, they came back again. I’m afraid to see what this 2024 election will bring.

Do I use them? Yes, FaceBook and Instagram both personally and for my business. I have X and TikTok accounts but have posted only minimally on X.

I guess we can’t stop progress but I can dream!

Posted in 2024, thoughts, Writing

No Man is an Island, but sometimes…

If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?

This quote is one of my favorites, but I can’t say I’ve always followed it! I have no problem with the “love many”, but sometimes for certain reasons, I didn’t listen to my instincts (or was persuaded otherwise) on the “trust few”!

What do you think about this quote and how it applies to you?