Tag: thoughts

Posted in 2025, life, thoughts

4 AM

Posted on by nancyb422

Worry and fear fly into the room and enter my brain at 4am. I should be enjoying the final hour and 15 minutes of a good night’s sleep but instead in find myself awake giving them the opening to appear.

Bills.business.life.health.travel.bills.job delays.bills. Over and over again.

I turn to my left side and recite the Lords Prayer. I try a little ‘God’s got me the palm of his hand‘. Nope.

I rotate like a pig on a spit to my right side. Happy memories? Upcoming adventures? Nope.

it’s 4:30. I realize the problem is, I’m THINKING. Everything involves my brain thinking. Turn it off.turn it off. It won’t shut off.

Then suddenly, I’m younger, alone and driving trying to get home. I don’t know where I am but (in the morning light), I think it’s in a town nearby. I’m driving up a hill, stop when I can’t go anymore and leave my car. Where do I go? Suddenly, I’m taking a yoga class. Then I’m at home with my husband and Vince Vaughn and his sister (?!) stop by to look at our house. She and I talk about needlepoint. I’m called away from yoga by my friend Sherri who died a few years ago to go see a young girl who was in the elementary school I worked at. When I go back, yoga is over so I pack up my belongings and suddenly I’m back at my car. People are picnicking in the area. I look over and my car door is open. Someone broke in but the people nearby say all they saw was people commenting about the car. I head over to look.

I hear a noise. It’s my alarm at 5:45am. I press the button on my phone to turn it off and lay there to calm the feeling in my body from the alarm.

Time to start my day.

Posted in 2025, family, Holidays, leisure time, life, Memories

New York! New York!

Posted on by nancyb422

New York, New York, what a wonderful town
The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down!
—from On Our Way with Gene Kelly

My first memory of visiting New York City is when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. It was a Columbus Day trip with my mother, two sisters, aunt, and cousin and our destination was the Statue of Liberty.

We took the Metro North train out of New Haven and got on the subway heading to Battery Park. We were looking for the Bowling Green stop but how we missed it a few times! We probably headed into Brooklyn and then had to get back on in the direction we came from. We made it to the Statue and had a great time, and I got a pen in the gift shop with a floating statue.

The next time I traveled into the city it was with my sisters during Christmas time. Those trips bring back memories of Crabtree and Evelyn scents and Dansko clogs! We would visit Rockefeller Center to see the tree and shop.

Macy’s
Rockefeller Tree
Empire State Building

When I lived in California, I always raved about New York, and must have been incredibly obnoxious! San Francisco just didn’t compare.

After we moved back to Connecticut, my sisters and I would take our kids into the city to wander. We weren’t very comfortable on the subway – we didn’t want to get lost – so we dragged the kids all over the place on foot! One trip by the time we got the Met on 82nd Street, they were exhausted already! They were very happy when we were finally comfortable enough to take the subway.

My husband is now my favorite traveler to New York. We’ve gone for concerts and basketball games at Madison Square Garden, stayed a few days at a time to shop at Christmastime, and this year I’ve (dragged him along) taken him to a broadway play, with more to come.

Carnegie Hall
The Cloisters
MSG

Today we headed in for a short trip to see the newly re-opened Frick Collection. We had an early lunch before our 12:30 check in. The museum isn’t very large so we saw all we needed to see in an hour. We were headed home on the 2:04pm train.

We’ll be back down there in early June with my husband’s aunt and uncle from California. Tickets have been purchased for a play (Six), tickets for the Vessel, and ideas ready for dinners. I can’t wait!

What’s your favorite place to visit and how often do you get there?

Posted in 2025, Books, life, thoughts, Writing

Why Write?

Posted on by nancyb422

Why Bother
Because right now
there is someone
Out there with
a wound in the exact shape
of your words
— Sean Thomas Dougherty 2018

I heard this poem this past week while attending an author talk by Monica Woods for our town’s “One Book, One Wallingford”. The participants in the program read her book “How To Read A Book”.

She recited this poem when discussing her journey in writing. She had a manuscript for her book “The One-In-A-Million Boy” which was rejected in 2008 (or so). She tossed it in a drawer and her husband kept encouraging her to send it to another publisher. She didn’t, but in the meantime wrote a memoir, “When we were the Kennedys” and a play! Her husband kept encouraging her to re-submit it. But next she wrote “How To Read A Book”. Then, she submitted the cast-away manuscript and it was published.

I have no plan to write a book but her story and the poem she recited really struck me because I alternate between writing, and wondering why I write. Who cares what I have to say or feel? Who am I to feel like anything I say matters?

Reading that poem encourages me to continue to write and hope that someone out there nods in agreement or at least pauses to contemplate my words.

Posted in 2025, Goals, Healthy Living, hobbies, leisure time, life, Writing

Make it – Check it

Posted on by nancyb422

When do you feel most productive?

I always think I will be so productive because I get out of bed by 6am every morning. But that really has nothing to do with productivity because I’ve perfected the art of taking my time.

I feel the most productive when I make a list of what I want to do and what I have to do.

I find it amazing that I have so many “things” I want to do, yet I never work on them, because I don’t remember them in the moment. If I have a list, I can look and say “oh, I’ll do a little work on this”.

I guess it’s time to take own advice!

Posted in 2025, family, Home, life, Memories, thoughts, Writing

Desserts

Posted on by nancyb422

Tonight on Spring Baking Championship on HGTV, one of the challenges was for the bakers to elevate one of their favorite childhood desserts. That got me thinking about MY favorite childhood desserts.

My uncle on my mother’s side was a baker. I don’t know if he learned his trade in the army or by osmosis from my grandmother. He owned his own bakery for a few years and, after closing it, worked first at the local prep school, until finally settling in as the baker at Masonic Home and Hospital, a rehabilitation hospital and nursing home for people who were members of the Masonic Temple Association.

This man made the most INCREDIBLE baked goods. It’s amazing that he could make hundreds of desserts for the people at Masonic using these huge tubs for the dough and ovens to bake in and each one tasted as delicious as if it was one of only a dozen.

My favorites were his chocolate eclairs. They were all one piece filled with cream and delicious chocolate on top.

Chocolate Eclair (from the internet)

His cream puffs! Oh my word! Filled with delightful air pockets stuffed with cream.

Cream Puffs (internet photo)

He also made something called a Hermit Cookie. I found it quickly online. They were square bar cookies with ginger and molasses and raisins. One version I found is called New England Hermit Cookie Bar with the story that they date back to the Pilgrims and they were good for travel because they were dense and stayed moist for up to two weeks! Maybe his mother, my grandmother, brought the recipe with her when she immigrated from the Galician area of Poland in the early 1900s!

From thelemonbowl.com recipe

I do remember my uncle’s Hermit cookies being overall dark like the inside of this one.

In addition to his job and making desserts for family events, he made the wedding cakes for my mother, and for my cousin.

We did not have homemade desserts in our house. They were store bought cookies and pastries. My mother worked full time and she wasn’t really a baker, with the exception of the four layer chocolate cake with whipped cream filling and chocolate frosting we requested for our family birthday parties! She never said no! There would always be cake left over and we would eat that until there wasn’t a crumb left anywhere.

I do love my desserts!

What’s your favorite childhood dessert? Tell me!

Posted in 2025, life, thoughts, Writing

My Mood

Posted on by nancyb422

Grey skies and rain for days…

The news of the US….

Social Media….

Combined, they have put me into a mood and I imagine one of those rain clouds is hanging over my head.

There’s only one I can’t do anything about and that’s the weather.

But, if I don’t read everything, I’ll miss out! I really suffer with that mentality.

The weatherman says we’ll see sunshine on Sunday.

I don’t see the news or social media getting any brighter.

Posted in 2025, life, thoughts, Writing

Money

Posted on by nancyb422

“Money, Money, Money, always sunny, in the rich man’s world” – ABBA 1976

If/when you wake up in the middle of the night, what’s the first thing that pops into your mind?

Mine is MONEY. Why money you ask? Because I’m always paying bills. I have a payroll to process every week, bills for materials and other on-job expenses, bills for vehicle loans, and bills for overhead expenses like the phone service and anything else that keeps our doors open and lights on (electric bill!).

At 3:30 am, if my brain rises out of whatever phase of sleep nearest to awake, my mind says “do you have enough money?” and something inside gives my heart a little squeeze. If I’m too much awake, I’ll head to the bathroom for a change of scenery. Sometimes I can snuggle back into my pillow, say a little prayer of thanksgiving for my bed, my house, etc. and very soon, I’ve fallen back to sleep.

Do you have a particular thought that pops into your brain if you wake up in the middle of the night?

Posted in 2025, Business, family, life, Memories, thoughts, Writing

Math

Posted on by nancyb422

“I expect my mother’s fear of decimal currency was related to her dislike of math, which is a common fear often dating back to a cruel teacher.” – Cherry in Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty.

Oh, that hit me right in the memories!

I don’t think Sister Holly Jean my third grade teacher at Holy Trinity School was intentionally being mean. There were two math groups and two reading groups, and when you’ve already spent 2 years with the same kids, you know which is which.

I bounced back and forth between those two math groups throughout 3rd grade. Long division was my nemesis! Carrying the what because it’s not equal where? My mother brought home waste letter paper from work and filled them with division problems for me to solve.

I survived third grade math but I was never the same afterwards. Math just continued to beat me down year after year. Algebra, Geometry, even review math in 12th grade was a struggle.

Ironically, I really enjoyed Accounting in high school and college and handle the (Quick)books for our company.

Hand me the calculator!

Posted in 2025, Goals, Healthy Living, hobbies, Home, life, Travel, Writing

More of This More of That

Posted on by nancyb422

What do you wish you could do more every day?

By working four days a week, I’m getting glimpses of what retirement will look like.

I have a variety of hobbies that include knitting, ancestry research, writing for this and my family stories blog, puzzles, reading. All my indoor stuff but I also have a new e-gravel bike to ride and a boat that will go in the water next month. And travel!

I wish I had more retirement time every day to find a flow to work on my hobbies and outdoor activities!

Soon. I just have to be patient.

Posted in 2025, Home, life, Religion, thoughts, Writing

Our Father Who Art in Heaven

Posted on by nancyb422

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I have to work hard to brush away negative and worrying thoughts.

I’m learning to rely on faith.

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Nights when I wake up at 3am and the first thing that pops into my mind is something about work, I roll over and I pray. It pushes out the worry and negativity and I fall back to sleep.

During the day if I start to worry, I just talk to God and thank him for the day, the weather, my home, whatever!