mental health – Thoughts From The Passenger Seat

2026, life

Take as Directed

Posted on August 27, 2026 by nancyb422

The Levoxyl I take every morning to compensate for having half a thyroid says: Take one hour before eating. Unfortunately, this also includes coffee, tea, water with lemon, and even water with electrolyte powder.

I’ve been ignoring those directions for the 29 years that I’ve taken the medication and knock on wood, the bloodwork numbers are always within range. I occasionally know something is wrong by my mood, and sometimes the scale, but I bounce back without a change in dosage.

But…..now I’m 66 years old and if it really is 10 years since menopause, this weight is hanging on tighter than a tick on a dog and apparently, it has no intention of leaving!

Oh what to do, what to do? I am running an experiment for the next 8 weeks, with doctor’s approval, and a follow up lab slip in my hand. The plan is to give up the morning coffee I usually drink 10 minutes after I take my pill and, wait until after my workout to put electrolytes in my water. I need to know if it will have an effect on my numbers and possibly, hopefully, on my weight. I’m only on Day 2, and already I have extra time because I don’t have to finish my coffee. I could get to my workout 15 minutes earlier if I want. I have my cup of coffee once I get to the office, and I add the electrolytes to my water bottle after my workout.

I’ll keep track of moods and weight and we’ll see where the numbers end up in 8 weeks.

Anyone else out there deal with taking medication on an empty stomach?

2026, thoughts

Breathing, Meta, and Mantra

Posted on August 10, 2026 by nancyb422

In the title are three types of meditations I do in my Peloton daily meditation. 10 minutes in the morning and the same meditation for a week with a different instructor.

I’m not crazy about breathing meditation because I feel like my breathing is wacky and on any given day, I have trouble with deep breaths. I call it Anxiety Breathing and have had it all my life. I panic when I can’t draw in a really deep breath. Most days, I’m fine. It must be all these meditation classes I’m taking!

Funny story #1 – I would be in church and would be breathing just regular breaths and I would go to inhale deep and if I couldn’t I would panic (internally, but there were plenty of times in life when I was little I’d freak out at inappropriate moments!), and just say over and over, “ok, wait, wait, just breath and they next one try!”. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn’t.

Funny story #2 – we took swimming lessons at our town pool growing up. I think it was the Intermediate group we were being taught the crawl. You know that one where you take a breath and stick your head in the water and then turn your head and exhale, inhale? Well, I would inhale, do a few strokes and when I would turn my head, I would never breathe in or out! I would just continue to hold my breath and then flounder about. No coordination whatsoever!

Unfortunately, last week and this week are 10 minute classes of breath work! A lot of deep inhales and sighing out of my mouth, along with box breathing this week.

Maybe it’ll make me a better breather. But I’ll never be a better swimmer.

2026, Memories

A look Back at 36

Posted on July 18, 2026 by nancyb422

Yesterday was my son’s 36th birthday. It feels so momentous to have a child that old. Of course it makes me think back to what I was doing when I was 36.

I was raising a 6 year old who had just finished up kindergarten. I was working a job I hated, at a company I loved. We had passed the one year anniversary of our move from California back to purchase my childhood home in Connecticut. My father lived with us for five years after that. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer that April and in the next month, my husband would travel back to California to visit her one last time.

My son was loving life in 1996, oblivious, I hope, to the turmoil around him. He was spending days at the YMCA camp along with after camp care until one of us picked him up. He spent some Fridays with a friend’s family at a favorite Rhode Island beach. Most weekends were spent at my sister’s in-law’s pool with the rest of his cousins by marriage.

It was a time of trying to make everyone happy. Appease everyone. Get to work, don’t fuck up, don’t get sick because then someone had to do my job. Make sure no one felt slighted or offended by any choices I made. I didn’t have that living in California, but I had it in aces here.

It did smooth out and get better. I left that job and found another closer to home with better hours, and better pay. I adjusted to life in the family fold while creating my own life with my own family.

That’s a look at my summer at 36.

*My wildflower garden outside my back door*

2026, Writing

Visualization Meditation

Posted on June 2, 2026 by nancyb422

Every morning I meditate for 10 minutes using my Peloton. A few months ago, they started a program in which you do the same class for 7 days. A variety of instructors and a variety of types of meditation. This week, with Anna Greenberg is self-visualization, and I am really enjoying it more than any of the other types.

My mind immediately heads outside to our garden and an arbor that my husband recently built between four raised planting beds.

It’s the perfect spot to spread a blanket and hide away for someone my size. Outside, but not exposed. Cozy, but not cramped. I can lean against a planter and read a book, or lay down on the blanket and look out at the sky. If my husband is working in the garden, he’s nearby, but doing his own thing.

It reminds me of the Cinderella song by Rodgers and Hammerstein, “in my own little corner in my own little world, I can be who ever I want to be”.

*The arbor and my husband working on his roses*

Do you have a place you go, either real or in your mind to get away?

2026, Healthy Living, life

A Different Lens

Posted on January 12, 2026January 12, 2026 by nancyb422

I’ve been starting my morning workout with a 5 minute Peloton meditation. My favorite instructor is Chelsea Jackson Roberts. Her voice is so calming.

Some days she has a mantra and today’s was “Today I choose the lens of love in how I treat myself and how I treat others.”

I carried that with me forcing myself to not beat myself up for doing a low impact cardio right after a lower body workout! Should have done a core workout!

I will focus on carrying it with me through my day. Some days I get in the office and all thoughts of kindness and goodness fly right out of my head. I need to remember that we all come from different “places”. How we were raised, how we were taught, even how our last boss or ex-husband treated us. We’re just all here trying to do the best we can.

2025, life, thoughts, Writing

Money

Posted on April 3, 2025 by nancyb422

“Money, Money, Money, always sunny, in the rich man’s world” – ABBA 1976

If/when you wake up in the middle of the night, what’s the first thing that pops into your mind?

Mine is MONEY. Why money you ask? Because I’m always paying bills. I have a payroll to process every week, bills for materials and other on-job expenses, bills for vehicle loans, and bills for overhead expenses like the phone service and anything else that keeps our doors open and lights on (electric bill!).

At 3:30 am, if my brain rises out of whatever phase of sleep nearest to awake, my mind says “do you have enough money?” and something inside gives my heart a little squeeze. If I’m too much awake, I’ll head to the bathroom for a change of scenery. Sometimes I can snuggle back into my pillow, say a little prayer of thanksgiving for my bed, my house, etc. and very soon, I’ve fallen back to sleep.

Do you have a particular thought that pops into your brain if you wake up in the middle of the night?