Letting Go

I have a friend in his mid-20s that I’ve known since he was six years old. We became acquainted through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.

He hasn’t had an easy life, and living with his grandmother and mother and moving through life devoid of any male guidance or mentor, meant he learned it, or made it up as it came along. Through the years, I tried to give him practical advice, made sure he had a male teacher or two, and even attended meetings in middle school with his advisors.

He started working right out of high school and was living on his own with a friend. He lost his job after a disagreement with the manager of the restoration company where he was employed and came to us asking for a job four years ago. I saw this as a great opportunity to work around good men, learn the carpentry trade, and have a good future with a thriving company. We’ve known him for so long, he was like a son to us.

Our contact before that had been minimal but with him as an employee, he’d stop in my office at the end of the day to talk and I was available to help him whatever he needed outside of work.

It was a rough few years, and we let him go in March. We both professed that it wouldn’t hurt our relationship, but because of how he left, it did.

It was hard to watch someone who was given an opportunity to learn a trade, learn from good people, just toss it aside because of he couldn’t take direction, or criticism. No matter how much I tried to guide him.

He’s now working on his own as a 1099 contractor without any of the benefits of being an employee like health insurance or someone else taking care of your taxes. But he’s making the money he thinks he deserves and he’ll figure it out. Some people just have to do it their way, and in the end, they can be successful. And that’s what I wish for him.